6 Ways to Fit in when you're the Youngest Person in the Room

These are really good tips. The one about being sure not to come across as arrogant is important; people are less likely to go out of their way to help you if you're acting like you already know it all.

Good point. Sometimes I try to remind myself as much as possible to keep my mouth shut even if I think I know the answer.

Thanks Ryan,

I have sent these tips to my oldest son.

Asking questions is a key one. The types of questions you ask also can show how you better understand whatever you are learning about.

And bringing up your weekend fun is good too. Even "older" people love to reminisce about the good old days. I even begin to wonder sometimes how the older generations got to be so old. (I've heard some crazy stories…)

Should parents veto the way children spend their money?…

This was the blog headline:
Should parents veto the way children spend their money?
It was written on behalf of seven-year-old Jessica, who was confused.
Her Mum had said she could spend her pocket-money on whatever she wanted, but when Jessica drew u…

@Kelley, Awesome, I hope he can learn something!

@Micah very true, its always interesting to see how people are relating to or thinking about a topic from the questions they ask. I, also, wonder how they got to be so old sometimes….I'll be there soon enough.

Interesting. Now think what it's like if you're the youngest at only 13 years old. Becoming an entrepreneur at age 9 and doing things that most kids never even think of, people don't always take you seriously. But I would rather be in a crowded room speaking to adults than dealing with kids at school.

Ryan – you have two great balance points *be an expert & *ask questions. Even the most astute leader asks questions, evaluates all the data, displays an empathic demeanor and then is able to make an informed directive. At the same time you have to be able to assert yourself enough so that you establish your skill set clearly, early and often. This allows you to be recognized and invited to the big table earlier and more often.

Quite frankly all experts ask questions – how did they become experts? For every behavior there should be a counterbalancing behavior. That is how you are able to maintain your identity yet acclimate into an environment that is different that one you would create if you could.

So start creating it through your own actions. Good points.

Ryan – Great post. The one about accepting favors is hard for me, but I've been learning it slowly. It *is* counter-intuitive, for me at least, but completely true in my experience. -h

Hi, Ryan.

Thanks for this post. It is very useful for me. I agree that bringing out weekend fun lightens the conversations.

I'm luckily to have become the youngest and the only girl in my office. Sometimes, it is hard for me to respond to jokes and drinking invitations with the "seniors" on a dinner table. I would love to hear your opinion and other readers' on this matter.

@Jason – Wow, I can't imagine trying to fit in at 13. Good luck!

@Gilbert – Good point, people often think that experts know EVERYTHING, and its just not true. They know a lot, but they are always searching for more. That's what makes them experts in the first place…the thirst for knowledge.

@Howie – Accepting favors is hard for me to, my first inclination is always to turn them down. I try to make a conscious effort, but sometimes I'll turn down a favor without even thinking about it.

@Summer – I would take them up on this opportunity as often as possible. Going out for a quick drink is a great way to become friendly with someone outside of the office. And that's when people let their guard down.

Thanks for the comments!

Ryan, I love the last one, accepting all favors. Seems to me this is really a life skill, closely aligned with accepting praise, acknowlegement, and love.

Get good at receiving, and you'll have the training to give it back.

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Including younger workers is a key part of diversifying the workforce in general and increasing the collaborative quotient of effective teams. Good companies will create an atmosphere of inclusion that should reduce the tension younger workers can feel in the situations you cite.

The only thing I'd add to your list is to keep focused on your purpose for working there while you address day to day business. If you can keep one eye on the big picture you're likely to not only *be* more effective but *seem* more effective, and perception is very important when you're in situations such as you describe.

Good luck!

Sound advice for younger workers…

Ryan Healy offers up list of six tips for younger workers who are trying to fit in with their sometimes older peers. While everyone has issues getting along with their teammates, it's important to remember that younger folks generally have less …

Ryan — thanks for pulling together these tips. I know a lot of young people run into the issue of feeling very awkward and keenly aware of their age when they're in a room of older people.

However, I'm afraid I don't agree with all of your tips. Primarily, the point about the "kids conversation." While you make a good point about not chiming in with stories of your own childhood that would end up with you essentially relating to their kids, I don't think it's necessary for young people to "keep their mouths shut." I'm 25, single, with no kids. But I have had plenty of enjoyable conversations with older people about kids. I'm lucky, I have a 2-year-old nephew that I can reference. But even aside from that, you don't *have* to stand there with an odd smile plastered on your face and remain silent. The other person is sharing something about their family with you. Don't "pretend to be interested." Genuinely BE interested. Take on the role of active listener in the conversation and share in the joy of whatever story they're telling about the cute thing their kid did recently. For example: older colleague is talking about their kid's basketball practice schedule, so younger person can ask, "How long has your son been playing basketball?" More back and forth … younger person can ask, "Did he pick this up on his own, or did you also play basketball as a kid?" Etc.

I would have to say the biggest thing that has made me successful in such situations (where I'm the youngest in the room) is to just be a good listener. Knowing what intelligent insight to contribute at the right time — which is key to being perceived as wise beyond your years — is rooted simply in being a good active listener.

Great tips Ryan. The "accept all favors" was new to me as well.

I'd say two that have really helped has been confidence and ownership. I agree that you don't want to be arrogant and I always ask questions, but I am also confident in my abilities and own the projects I work on. I think people new to organizations are too hesitant to really take the lead on their projects, but this is what shows your leadership skills.

As a result, a lot of people are surprised to hear how young I am or that I'm at such-and-such a level.

As a college student nearing graduation I like getting all the tips I possibly can. I was just looking for an interesting blog, and this one definately caught my attention. A few of the tips seemed obviosu and made complete sense. I also really like the tips about older people talking about their kids. It would be tough to relate to people in that conversation. The other tip the really caught my attention was the last one about accepting fvors. After reading those tips, it seemed to make alot of sense. Thanks for the quick tips.