Generation Y: Here Are the Real Dues We Need to Pay

When I hear older generations talk about Generation Y having to pay their dues, I get a little sick to my stomach. Not because I'm trying so hard to avoid the whole thing (I am), but because I have more important things to develop before worrying about a fat paycheck and a corner office with a view.

Due paying gets a bad rap because it's consistently associated with cubicles, meaningless work and low-paying jobs with little benefit. But I believe that there are other inevitable obstacles—more important ones—that we need to conquer before deciding where we stand within the working world.

Here are three due-paying opportunities that we all need to think about before fussing over the traditional connotation of "paying your dues."

Discover who your true friends are.

If you're more than a year out of college you've likely figured it out—everyone you considered friends at school is not going to be there forever. In fact, it's quite possible that you'll encounter some mild betrayal before long. It comes with the territory.

I consider myself pretty lucky. But there are times when I'm utterly let down. And because everyone has their own goals, though sometimes fairly hazy goals, you shouldn't dwell on the people in your life that didn't end up being as loyal as you thought they would be.

What I've learned to do is this: whenever somebody lets you down, put your energy into someone who consistently picks you up. Those are the people you want to center your life around. And it's those people who will continue to add meaning in your life as you pay your dues as a twentysomething.

Discover what it's like to be alone.

While I continue to realize that I still have some true friends, there are still days when I can't help but feel lost and alone. And I think that most people feel this way at some point.

Whether you're single, dating or married, we all have to figure out for ourselves where we fit in the world. Sure, you can count on your loved ones for support, but it's you alone who makes the decision about where you fit and what makes you happy.

One thing I've learned since moving to Madison and starting Brazen Careerist is that life can't be measured by your social life alone, and it's certainly not measured by a paycheck or by where you stand in the hierarchy of the working world. The most important measure in life is how you feel about yourself. And some of the biggest revelations will hit you not when you're out partying with friends or working towards a higher salary, but when you're by yourself, alone and kind of unsettled by the things that are still missing in your life.

Sound depressing? Sure. It's seldom a fairy tale experience for any of us. But what you learn through these experiences is what you need to move forward and be more of the person you want to be someday.

Feeling alone is a big part of paying your dues. Don't fear it; try to embrace it and get comfortable.

Discover your fear, and conquer it.

Lately I've been reading Christine Hassler's 20 Something Manifesto. I learn best from listening to other people's experiences and this book is jammed-pack with twenty-something life.

Today I read about fear and I can't stop thinking about what Christine says:

If you have a skill, dream, or desire that you are passionate about pursuing, perhaps the biggest obstacle you will face is your own fear…Fear can keep us in bad situations, and also from pursuing our passions. Fear can often be a stronger motivator than the desire for success, stopping us in our tracks before we even find out what we want.

Lately I've been talking to a few people who seem to have something in mind that they want to do, but aren't sure how to really do it. But I'm starting to believe it's less about the actual drawing out a plan and more about drawing up the courage to make it happen.

Whether it's leaving a new job, starting a new one, moving away from family and friends, or any other daunting scenario I've ever faced, the most difficult part of the transition was mustering up the courage to do it. But once I sucked things up and overcame the fear of failure, everything else was gravy in comparison.

And sure, I still encounter little failures along the way. But they only make me better. A few scars are worth the irritation because you'll look at them later and remember what you did wrong that put them there in the first place.

So before you fret about office politics or the way the working world views Generation Y, think about developing yourself. People are always going to whine about how lazy and self-absorbed young people are, so let's just spend these years paying real dues first–ones that will actually pay off for the rest of our lives.

Leave your thoughts here. (6 responses)

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Amanda

Jul 8th, 2008 at 8:40 am

Spot on Ryan, and good advice for all ages! It's amazing where your thoughts will take you when you spend some good solid alone time.

Steve Errey

Jul 8th, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Some interesting points Ryan. Yes, there will always be people you've called a friend who let you down, there will be times when you're on your own and feeling lost, and there are times when you don't know how to find the courage to take a step.

But – and here's the thing – that's all fine. That's just as it should be. If you experience those things as well as the social life and everything else, then you know you're living a full life. If you experience those things you're doing something right, and acknowledging that simple fact can suddenly make all that 'due-paying' less of a struggle and more about a richness of experience.

That's real confidence.

Someone once said that if you can look back on a year and say to yourself that you've laughed and cried, then it's been a year well spent. Actually, I think it was an episode of Ally McBeal, but the quote works for me…

Ryan Paugh

Jul 8th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Steve: Works for me too! And it really sums up the past few years of my life. Did I consider them well spent then? Likely not…but today, absolutely.

Thanks.

Amanda Linehan

Jul 8th, 2008 at 8:59 pm

I think learning to be alone is a great addition to this list. When you are alone, you really have no choice but to see who you really are. I guess that's why a lot of people don't like to do it. It's scary, but I think you usually find out that you can handle loneliness better than you thought.

Even when you have people around you, I think it's still natural to feel lost and alone sometimes. It means that you are looking for something.

Bruce Yang

Jul 20th, 2008 at 4:29 pm

The big point that I agree on is that you need to get over your self doubt. Self Doubt is such a great evil — it's what need to overcome in order to achieve our dreams. So many 20somethings (actually everyone) has so much self doubt its really inhibiting us as a generation. The 20somethings I know are so smart and bright and capable. They can achieve great things if they only step up to the plate and start DOING instead of just dreaming. My dream for my life is to help people achieve their dreams!

Bruce Yang
http://www.20somethingsuccess.com

Fred

Jul 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 am

If you spend time worring about how you look when walking across the office or down the street, you have not acheived the self aware level you need to make it alone.You have not paid dues to the time monster, which needs to be mastered.
Don't look at paying dues as an obsticle but rather as a goal. Dues paid should be reaching a point where you have mastered a skill set or job, not the time you spent setting in an office.
Dues are reaching the point where you not only know the job, but show through actions and self awareness/confidence that you have arrived and are the person to turn to to get the job done. Dues also means, I am not looking for an excuse, This is something I hear others complain about with the Y'ers. "They don't own up" and so forth. Gen Y, this is not new and owned by Gen Y alone. It is part of life and everyone has bee there.

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