3 Ways to Plan for the Future Without Getting Overwhelmed

I'm a planner. In fact, some people might say I have a problem. I make lists for everything, I plan for everything, and recently, I even found myself making daily lists and plans for both Penelope and Ryan Paugh.

In some ways this can be a problem, like when I stress out about future events that I have no control over. But if you have a grip on it, planning for the future is extremely important and beneficial to your career and to your life. Since coming to terms with my excessive planning nature, I've figured out how to plan effectively for the future without stressing myself out too much. Here's how you can do it, too.

Know your goals and write them down

The first step is to have a basic idea of what you're planning for. What do you want to do? Where do you want to be? This does not mean you should write down your one, three and five year goals. Instead, just write down a few things that you would like to achieve in your lifetime. The other day I glanced at my short list of lifetime goals for the first time in at least six months. It was pretty cool to see that I achieved two of them (starting a company and conquering my fear of public speaking) without consciously thinking about it.

Glancing over the list made me remember some other goals I'm still after, like running a marathon and living in a foreign country. Hopefully in another year I'll be able to knock off another goal or two, but I'm not going to obsess over them anytime soon. If you don't write a few goals down, one of two things will happen. You will either completely forget about them, or, if you're like me, you will stress out about it at the wrong times and fail to accomplish the day-to-day tasks that will eventually get you where you really want to be.

Live in the moment

If you're always thinking about the future, you will never accomplish what needs to be done to achieve your goals. Because I'm such a future oriented person, I have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment, and to do things that keep me focused on that. My favorite thing to focus myself is to go for a run, and when I start getting ahead of myself I repeat the phrase, "Be here now." It's like my own personal mantra that keeps me in the present.

I just started reading the book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The book discusses how our attachment to our ego leads to anger and unhappiness. But the main lesson I've taken from the book is to simply be present and to live in the moment. It's not a great book—kind of boring, and a little too philosophical for me—but for whatever reason, every time I read a few pages, my entire body relaxes. I stop thinking about tomorrow's schedule and I stop stressing about hitting milestones.

Whether it's jogging, reading a book, or meditating— figure out what you need to do to relax and live in the moment and your future will fall into place.

Cut your to-do list in half and enjoy your accomplishments

Everyone needs a to-do list. If you don't have a list of what needs to be accomplished during the day it's way too easy to get sidetracked. But everyone should cut his to-do list in half.

It's easy to create a list, accomplish a few things, then add more and more until you become an obsessive, stressed out, productivity machine. But accomplishing task after task for the sake of getting things done does not lead to happiness, and if you really take a good look at your to-do list, I guarantee you can cut it in half and life will go on. In fact, you'll probably accomplish more if you don't sweat the details.

Happiness comes from enjoying whatever it is you are doing and enjoying the things that you accomplish. If you're not happy with what you're doing right now and you can't enjoy your small accomplishments, it's a good indication that when you reach those large goals, it will just be another thing to check off the list. And that's no way to lead a healthy life.

How I Try to Cope with My Own Anxiety

I have anxiety. And not the kind you get when employee reviews come around either. I'm talking about clinically-diagnosed, heart-palpitating, mind-numbing anxiety. It sucks. But I've learned to live with it.

The reason I'm sharing this is because the transition into adulthood is hard enough without having to deal with a mental defect. And considering that one out of every ten Americans suffer from some sort of depression, there are bound to be a few readers out there snagged by the mental funk I've dealt with for awhile now.

When I first started working on Brazen Careerist, I had a serious relapse of anxiety attacks. One thing that's really difficult about startup culture is that it lacks the structure that most corporate jobs embrace and many people who deal with anxiety need. So to get a grip, I had to make some changes in my life.

But it really doesn't matter what type of work environment you're in. It's easy to become paralyzed in any setting. And there's nothing we can do to prevent it reflecting on us. Anxiety and depression are not visible handicaps, so we don't get a reprieve.

The simple truth is I never wanted a reprieve. So I tailored my life to my condition and became a better man for it. Think you're like me? Then check out what I do to keep myself level. Maybe it'll change your life.

Don't put yourself in a box.

Easier said than done when you're sitting in a cubicle, but when I was in a corporate setting, I took every opportunity I could to get up and walk around. If I didn't, I started to get nervous.

Today, I take a break from the office at midday and walk my dog. If you have an opportunity to get outside during the day, it's the best medicine for an anxiety-inflicted brain. Between the fresh air, the openness, and the change of focus, it's a great way to put your head back on straight.

If you choose to stay at your desk and fight the urge to get up, you're just fighting your anxiety. And you don't fight anxiety, you suppress it.

Find structure.

Like I mentioned, depressed people sometimes need structure to make things work, especially the anxious ones.

We're a lot like dogs (seriously). Regularity keeps us happy. Variability means we're probably going to annoy you. And we're generally really fun to be around as long as you deal with us in the right way.

So create a life for yourself that's organized. It won't always work, but people who make the effort do much better than those who don't.

Give yourself things to look forward to.

While you're searching for structure, make sure you give yourself little gifts here and there. It doesn't have to be an everyday thing, and it probably shouldn't. There's such a thing as too much structure in everyone's life, so to compensate you have to throw in some random fun to keep yourself sane.

I personally like doing a Tuesday-night happy hour. And who doesn't? But alcohol isn't always the answer, especially for mental conditions. So find some other activities you can turn into a gift and plant them randomly throughout your weeks.

I like to play darts with my neighbors and unwind. I don't do it every day. But when I do, it's like free therapy. Even when I lose.

Have a good friend on speed dial.

If you've never experienced anxiety, depression, or any other form of mental illness, you might not think it's even legit. And that's okay. I've run into a lot of people like this. I used to be one of them.

The problem is that such thinking makes it really difficult for those who do suffer from anxiety to cope with it. Because nobody really gets what the hell is going on.

What I do is rely on someone like me – a friend who deals with the same crap I do – to talk me through any temporary lapses I may have. Because having an anxiety disorder is a lot like being an alcoholic. Unless you suffer from the disease yourself, it's really going to be hard to talk someone down from an attack when you don't know what terrible feelings they're stuck with.

This person could be family, a friend, or anyone, but whoever it is, make sure they're reliable. There's nothing more frustrating than putting your faith in someone who can't deliver.

Check It Out: Podcast with Bea Fields of Millennial Leaders

Last night I did my first podcast and I couldn't have picked a better person to break me in. I was a guest on Y Talk Radio hosted by Bea Fields, co-author of Millennial Leaders.

You can listen to the 30-minute cast by clicking here.

If you've ever thought about doing a podcast, give it a shot. It's pretty sweet.

Thinking Inside the Box: Quality Time with the Family

After the debacle that was trying to get all of our possessions into an itty-bitty trailer, you would have thought the moving drama was over. Oh no, far from it, as the excitement had just begun. You see, in order to avoid paying rent on an apartment we weren't planning to live in, my wife and I had to move out on a Wednesday. Unfortunately, my dad wanted to wait until the weekend before we all took off to Maryland (and good luck telling him we can do it alone, there's no way my parents were letting us move 10 hours away without saying goodbye), so in effect my wife and I were to be homeless for a few days. "Not to worry," says mom and dad, "you can stay with us! It'll be just like old times!" Oh joy, I get to live with my parents once more.

First off, obviously I wasn't really moving back in with my parents since we were going to only be there a few days and since the only unpacking I did was clothes and a mattress (because we weren't both making it onto my old bed; "twin mattress" is a misnomer, only one person's fitting on there), but it still felt odd. After a couple years out on my own, coming home again was just so strange, like I was back in high school fielding all the same questions ("How was your day?" "Did you find a new job yet?" "Why can't you be a lawyer?") as I did all those years ago.

Conversations were awkward, as my family doesn't really understand the concept of "new media." In fact, I'm pretty sure the last time my mom checked her email was when I did it, and words like YouTube, RSS feed, and social networking make their eyes glaze over.

So I understand that they don't see how I can possibly make a living writing on the Internet (privately; I'm not quite sure how to do it myself), so the pressure comes in spades to go get a more "conventional" job. When I tell them I want to be a writer their response is akin to that of John Lithgow's character in "Orange County." (If you haven't seen it, go rent it right now, it's like Laguna Beach and the Hills, but with a better script. Ah snap!)

Aside from dodging questions about my future, there was also the implied need for my wife and I to see every family member and attend every possible family event one last time, just in case the Eastern Seaboard breaks from the United States, floats into the Atlantic, and then sinks, thus rendering us never able to see any of them again. There was the family cookout featuring too done hot dogs and steaks so big I wondered what parts of the poor cow were left, as well as my niece's softball games and random aunts and uncles dropping by to tell us how proud they were event though we've only met twice.

The night before we left my parents told us that if we ever needed a place to stay, their home was always open, "so long as she comes with you." That little phrase was both the most wonderful and terrifying thing I had ever heard. On the one hand, it shows that they have fully embraced the love of my life as one of their own, thinking of her as their own child, and willing to do whatever it takes to help her every step of the way. On the other hand, it also means that if for some awful reason we should ever end up divorced, I'm no longer welcome in my childhood home. I worked on winning them over to my side for 18 years, it only took her two; she must be some sort of sorceress.

As I raided my parents' pantry one last time I was struck by the sheer mass of the moment before me. Here I was, about to leave the only home I'd ever known (though I had lived in different parts of the same state, I was never more than a couple hours from where I grew up), to go to a place completely new and alien to me. I had been to Washington, DC once, in eighth grade on a field trip, and hadn't seen it since. I had no knowledge of Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, or Delaware (Delaware borders Maryland? Really? I thought it just kind of floated up and down the coast, settling wherever it chose), and my only lifeline would now reside a half-day's drive away, well out of reach next time my car broke down or the washing machine overflowed.

And yet I knew the tether had to be cut. The opportunity laid before us was too grand, too perfect, to exciting to let slip by, and consequences be damned we had to go for it. So the next morning we piled into our cars and started driving east, every mile we passed I left another little piece of my old self behind; readying for a new day, a new home, and a new experience. However, tucked into the back of my mind was that little reassurance, the knowledge that I can always go home again if things don't work out, so long as she comes with me.

I'd better be good, because if she leaves then I'm screwed.

How to Know if a Start-Up is Right for You

Leaving your large company to join a start-up is never an easy decision to make. You have to take many factors into consideration, including your tolerance for risk, how much cash you have in the bank, your family situation, student loans, and lots of other things.

When I left IBM to form a 3-person start-up, I had already thought this stuff through and I knew it was the right time in my life. But everything I've learned about start-up life since then is unbelievable, so here are just four of those things to consider before you ditch your large company for life in a start-up.

1. Do you really like the people?

When you interview, you must make sure you like the people in the company. And I don't mean just sort of like the people, you have to really really like your co-workers if you're joining a small team. So the interview process should be much more of a two-way interview than if you were interviewing with a large company. You need to interview them as much, if not more, than they are interviewing you.

As an entry level recruit at a large company, there's a good chance you will interview with a random HR person, only to never even see them again after you start work, so the personal connection is not that important. But when you interview for a start-up, you WILL work with your interviewer on a regular basis, and you will spend an insane amount of time with everyone you meet so you better like them, and they better like you.

2 . Do they want you to negotiate?

I believe everyone should try to negotiate salary, no matter what size company and no matter where you fall on the totem pole. It can't hurt to try and get a little more cash, options or benefits. But when you interview for a start-up, you can't just try–you must negotiate for every penny you can, and it's important because the company should expect you to negotiate.

At a start-up, everyone needs to be a self-starter, and everyone needs to be somewhat business savvy. Taking the initiative to negotiate and not back down easily is important, and the good start-ups will recognize your negotiations as a good sign for the future, even if they think you're a pain in the ass. So try to get those stock options, and remember, DON'T GIVE THE FIRST NUMBER.

3. Do you live to work or do you work to live?

If you want to make a good paycheck, you've got to work a lot of hours, no matter what size company you're at. But in a large company, anyone with some street smarts can figure out how to "work the system" and get by with a typical 8 hour day.

In a start-up, there is no working the system, there's just a lot of work. So if you love the thrill of working around the clock, you're competitive and you're achievement oriented, 12 hours a day at a start-up could be the place for you.

4. Can you handle uncertainty?

In a start-up, there is always uncertainty. There's uncertainty about next month, next week and even tomorrow. There's no telling if your company will even make payroll every other week. And there is always that slight chance that the CEO will walk in the room and say, "Guys, the game is over."

But with uncertainty comes excitement. Sure it may make you a little anxious or nervous, but it's a thrill. If you're reading this and thinking, "How is uncertainty about a paycheck a thrill?"– it's probably time for you to stop dreaming about a start-up. But if it's making just a little sense, then it may just be time for you to get out there and start networking with some entrepreneurs.

Good Luck.