What to Do When You Hit a Juncture: Don't Put Life on Hold

I was of the "put in more hours" mentality. I went into the office from about 7-5:30 every day. I got home, and was mentally exhausted! Now I work 7:30-4:30 every day, and use the extra time in the morning to workout, and the extra time in the evening to pursue various hobbies of mine! I think it's made me a better employee, because I'm not on the verge of going psycho at any moment…
And yah, as far as patience goes- you need to be patient, but that doesn't mean to just sit and let things happen! Make things happen, but remember that they take time!

jehan: I'm glad you decided to think more about yourself. It sucks to work w/ that person who is so consumed by work all the time. Even though they work their tail off, they aren't good co-workers. It sucks to work w/ someone who's all business all the time.

You make some really good points. I have a friend living in the middle-of-nowhere northern Wisconsin. The demographic doesn't really match up with her single 20-something life. It's been three years and she may be on the verge of getting out in the next year or so. However, a lot of her life has been put on hold for a job. She recently woke up and realized she is only 10 months away from being 30. She is starting to see how much she missed out on the things she assumed would be a part of her life by now – a long term relationship, maybe buying a house, pursuing her hobbies, etc. Sometimes patience is good, but sometimes action regardless of circumstance is necessary. You can't always wait for life to happen to you. I've seen how miserable it can end up. Even if it's not your ideal locale you have to put yourself out there. I am a big fan of random adventuring in a new place. When I was traveling extensively for work the guides in the hotel & the internet were good resources to find something to do. It was that or waste away in my hotel room waiting to work some more long hours – Not good for one's sanity.

Thanks to my travel I can tell if I could live somewhere after a few days of visiting. In general anyway. However different people can see the same place totally different…
If memory serves you are from Jersey. I've been to NJ. One of my first introductions was to a transplant from Florida. He said 'Hi, I'm Felix. Welcome to the armpit of America'. That might have been a bit harsh, but after a month I have never wanted to leave somewhere so badly.
The driving alone – What do you mean I can't turn left ANYWHERE in this godforsaken place? And could you PLEASE stop filling my gas tank for me!
In Wisconsin if a man approaches a girl at night, alone, filling up at the pump he is probably going to ask for change, ramble something incoherent or try to mug you. I am programmed to assume danger if a strange man walks up to my car at night.

The flip side is noticing how you see Madison. Admittedly I am much more of a Milwaukee girl then a Madison one (no trail mix or patchouli for me thanks), but you never miss a chance to dig on Wisconsin. It's like a subtle undercurrent in posts where you mention living there. I on the other hand love WI with all it's beer drinking, cheese loving, Packer worshiping denizens.

It's rare that you read advice on a work blog that supports going out and having a social life! I agree with you, though, that good relationships can be your saving grace at any point in life. I've always been a big believer in the "Bloom where you're planted" idea and I think developing strong relationships is an excellent way to accomplish this.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the concept of picking a place that fits your personality. I am about to move within my own city of Dallas to a part of town that matches mine more, and it's exciting, yet I had never even thought about how important of a decision location is until recently. I even picked up a new book on the subject called Who's Your City? by Richard Florida. You should check it out if you get the chance. I even wrote a blog entry on how Gen Y realizes that the area you live in can heavily influence your business and dating prospects. Granted, the decisions you make and the attitude you take are important no matter where you are, I still think the first concept you mentioned, picking the right place for you, is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make.

Amanda: You're very right. What makes an environment work for one person will completely not work for another. It's all about personality type.

Typically though, we get caught up in other matters and don't realize how great a place can actually be. I'm truthfully starting to really like Madison. And I owe it to my change of pace. Life's much better when you put yourself out there.

Erika: Thanks Erika! It's too bad that more career sites don't urge people to go out and have fun. Everyone's talking about multitasking, time management, etc, but all that really does is encourage more work. You gotta have fun too, or all of that hard work is just for nothing.

David: I've actually heard of Richard Florida and his book. Have not read it though. Thanks for the recommendation.

I agree, finding the perfect place to live is so important, but also might be irrelevant when you're young. Granted, you should try to be in a place where you can be social and meet people, but the right place in the long term is going to change as we get older. So I guess what I'm trying to say is have fun now, wherever you are.

I think you are right on about finding the right place to live for you. I went through this exact same thing (lived in Iowa for first two years out of school. Did not fit in. Knew nothing about farming.) My advice would be to keep an open mind about what that place is. When I was young I totally saw myself as a Carrie Bradshaw type who belonged in a BIG city. I landed in Northern Michigan instead. But since I was so happy to get out of Iowa, I decided to take a "bloom where you are planted" attitude. And I've now been in Northern Michigan 12 years and don't ever want to leave. One thing I found from my Iowa experience is that it wasn't the size town I lived in (which I thought it was), but rather the region of the country. So when you're looking for that "place," think regional rather than one specific place.

I'm glad it's growing on you at least a little! When (if) things slow down check out Milwaukee too. If you want a kindred spirit the JSonline blog called Fish Out of Water is written by another transplant. Erica is from southern California – Talk about culture shock.
As a native I love listening to people who originally thought we all spend our days tipping cows & drinking beer do a complete 180 and talk about how much there actually is to enjoy about WI.

I agree w/you & Genxpert on the 'getting out there' plan.
About a year ago I actually found myself with the opposite problem: I had been in one place too long. I had gotten into a routine. One where you know where you are going on Friday & Saturday, who is going to be there & even what you are going to talk about. There was nothing new or different happening. It was past comfortable and more of a rut. So I started throwing myself out there, trying new places, meeting new people, etc. As lame as it sounds it was like taking a vacation where I lived. I decided I had to reinvent myself without moving. It was weird at first, but now I'm reaping the rewards of it. I have met new friends, expanded my networking opportunities and discovered I really do like where I live.

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