What to Say When You Screw Up (Instead of that Same Old Excuse)

Oh, so true, every word of it! Saying "no one told me I had to do that" is like saying "I'm not bringing anything of my own to the table here, like smarts, common sense, or thoughtfulness. I will only do what you specifically instruct me in." And that's no good.

Great post!! Interestingly enough, I was planning posting something quite similar tonight! What you SHOULD say rather than what you should NOT say!

As to the 2nd point, you're absolutely right. If someone's complaining about being bored with menial tasks they should NEVER use excuse #2!! If you can't handle your regular job why would anyone give you more responsibility??

I would add that trying to explain how something is not your fault is completely counterproductive. Even if it's not or there were some mitigating circumstances or something, put all your energy into trying to solve the problem instead of bitching about it. People remember that.

And for the next topic: what *should* one say? Despite the title, the article focuses on what *not* to say…:)

I'm sorry I didn't know I was reading this instead of working

What an article that really hit home. As a manager in a state that is so employee oriented it takes months to cover your managerial a.. so you don't lose the court battle, the 'didn't tell me it was my job responsibility' really does work and is a manager's performance management nightmare. This means many times you have to detail the job to the lowest common denominator – that employee that you know will claim harassment of any sort when you do deal with this excuse again and again.

What to say? "Sorry." And nothing else. Don't even, as the first "what not to do" paragraph notes, say "it will never happen again." Any defense, when you've legitimately screwed up, will ultimately ring hollow, no matter how elegant or truthful the rationale. Just own up to your mistakes.

As a manager, I don't mind mistakes – they happen. What I hate is people who refuse to accept that they've made one. I tell my employees that the only time I get upset about mistakes is if the person who made it isn't equally (if not more) upset about it than me. Responsibility and accountibility for one's actions are enormous character traits in my book.

What to say next? "What can I do to make it better?" People who top off taking responsibility for their actions (or inactions) with a willingness to correct the mistake, or demonstrate a desire to truly improve their game, are few and far between.

Just don't let it happen again….

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I'm glad that most people have agreed.

A few comments:

Ian: I'm excited to read your post. Let me know when it goes live so I can comment.

Sara:solve the problem. Forget about excuses.

Les: Someone brought this up on Brazen Careerist today too. I did give some alternative examples, but I guess the main focus was on what not to do. Oh well!

JT:

Bob: I really wish I knew what to say here besides…that really sucks.

Sean: You're very right. I wish I had mentioned your point as well.

Nobody told me to!

I think, you might add, "Oh well!" Oh wait, but you just did that in the comment above…I think I would have been more impressed had you actually taken those comments to heart, noted that you didn't live up to your title, and said you'd do something positive about it. 'Oh well, multiple people have given me the same feedback and I'm just going to shrug my shoulders' suggests to me that you don't care about your readers (or respect them) and makes me seriously suspect that the reason you are writing about what mistakes to avoid, rather than how do it right is that you have little successful experience to talk about. I'm disappointed in you.

It's up: http://genyconsultant.blogspot.com/2008/04/only-right-answers-to-status-report.html

I also noticed that this was more of a what NOT to say, so mine is the opposite!

I completely agree with taking responsibility for ones mistakes, but is there a proper etiquette for explaining how the mistakes came to be if it is a substantial issue? If it took longer to finish a project then the time allocated because a coworker was disrupting you a majority of the time and didn't take the hint that you were to busy to talk (it is hard to deal with cube mates after you offend them) or an issue related to software that your boss is unfamiliar with/doesn't believe exists. I guess what I'm trying to get at is if there is an actual issue how can you bring it up without making it appear as an excuse for not being as productive as possible.

A: I'm blown away. I didn't know I was being so disrespectful to my readers. If I offended anyone apologies are in order. But I hope you're wrong in your assumption.

Either way, I recognize that the title wasn't amazing, it happens sometimes. But I'm glad some people found merit in its content.

Bubba: I don't think there's an easy answer, but I think the first step is to realize that regardless of disruptive co-workers, bugged technology or any other pitfall we may encounter during a project, we're still accountable in the end.

Perhaps it's better to finish what you started first, salvage what went wrong and then tackle the roadblocks you encountered. That way, you get the job done first, then take preventive measures to make sure it never happens again.

Does that make sense?

Darn! I really liked the "No one told me to do that" excuse! You totally blew my cover, Ryan! Seriously, I've always found that honesty is the best policy. I've always made it my personal policy to immediately fess up when I've made a mistake, no matter how bad it was. I've never been scolded by any boss after fessing up to a mistake, rather commended for my honesty. It feels really good to know that my employer is confident in my trustworthyness. Of course, remembering his morning cup of coffee is another story all together!

Bubba – As Ryan said, you are ultimately responsible for what is assigned to you regardless of circumstances.

The one thing I would add to Ryan's response is that it's absolutely critical to keep people in the loop as you go on. No one likes excuses, but if the excuse comes in at the end when a deliverable is expected, this is MUCH worse. Many people have the bad habit of waiting until the very end before taking action or saying: "Hey guys, we have a problem!"

This gives me an idea for a post…thanks!

I'm torn on the "No one told me I had to do that"

On one hand, employees should be expected to have some common sense.

But I more often find that this excuse is perfectly valid. Today's managers seem to be much more 'hands off' than previous managers. This is ok, as long as your employees know what to do. If you don't provide clear goals and adequate training, then they won't know what to do, and you'll be hearing this excuse quite a bit!

Scott M: You've got a great point. And it's really a two-way street. While entry-levels need to understand that a lame excuse just isn't going to cut it, managers need to define clearer goals for their employees too.

Thanks for bringing that up.

There seems to be quite a bit of volatility about these tips but I think they're valid. I especially like the first one, about taking accountability for your mistakes, because it shows that you've got the chutzpah to own up to mistakes. Even if the mistake is because you didn't know any better it's still a mistake. I think owning up to it outright enables everyone to move on from the situation fast and demonstrates that you're easy to work with. I've never met a manager who enjoyed explaining an error to a defensive employee.

The "No-one told me I had to do that" is legit. in many cases I've seen, where the process to follow in completing a certain type of task was poorly documented and required steps that would not be commonplace in other organizations – local knowledge.

It's not legit if:

a) You've been told where to look for documentation, and you didn't
b) It's a commonsense, "best practise everywhere" thing.

"I got caught up with something else" doesn't, but /should/ work when someone else is setting your priorities and botching it. When your project manager gives you a new "top priority" every other day and squirms nervously when you point out which former "top priority" would have to be deposed for that to happen. When deadlines get sprung on you and the "priority 3" with no specific deadline suddenly becomes "priority 1, do it yesterday, why didn't you do it yesterday?!?".

Now, obviously, every employee has a right and responsibility to ask for clear priorities, but at some point you have to make do with what you're given, and if your manager can't prioritize the work they pass to you, they can hardly complain about the order in which you do that work. Well, they can, and if they keep doing it, it's time to move on.

I agree with Scott M. What do you say for any excuses when you're a new graduate with minimum experience and you start your first career job in a big company and there's nobody to train you or show you the ropes of that business and the managers you work under don't know how to communicate their requirements and deadlines? How can you expect to perform properly in such an environment? And if you can't say "nobody told me I had to do that", then you can't say "it won't happen again" either because sometimes you don't even know what you did wrong.

Excuse or reason?

For me, an "excuse" has a negative tone and a "reason" a more positive one.

Whatever the reason, communicate it upwards as soon as you know. If you think you can hide the fact that you have screwed up, think again because you will be found out and that makes it worse.

As a Manager, you want to hear how we are in this position and how to overcome the situation. A good manager will be supportive as long as you do not give a poor excuse.

Andrew

James: You're right. But you're last point really hits home. They can and likely will complain even if you feel like your excuse is legit.

I'm not saying every manager is unreasonable, I'm just suggesting that in some cases it's better to bite the bullet. Standing your ground isn't always going to be in your best interest, unfortunately.

Stef: One important thing you can and should do to clear up miscommunication is to ask for clarification. I did that a lot when starting out. And I'm glad I did. Because it turns out that there are going to be a lot of things that people don't tell you. Trust me on this one.

GreatManagement: Reason does sound a lot more positive. Maybe that's the key here. Focus on your reasoning, be upfront and don't fall into giving shallow excuses.

Thanks!

Ryan,

You graduated in 2006 and are giving career advice? Come on!

S.L.:

If you think I'm wrong, please share. If not, I really can't do anything for you. Sorry.

Great post, RP. Two more: Never blame someone else, and never lie.

Best,

Alexandra Levit
Author, How'd You Score That Gig?
Blogger, Water Cooler Wisdom
http://alexandralevit.typepad.com

You had me Ryan.
N I think it would be nice if you say sorry as a gentleman, don't be pussy or afraid.

You know, I've screwed up plenty before, and, thankfully, was able to disarm people who'd come after me like rabid dogs by promptly accepting responsibility, offering a sincere apology and ways to fix it and to prevent future glitches. It's amazing to see how their faces change from "you must die" to "oh, well, it happens, no biggie."

Andrea: This is so true. I've had managers that have approached me ready to bite my head off. But usually the right demeanor with cool them down pretty fast.

If I had met their displeasure w/ lame excuses and all sorts of other garbage I'm sure things wouldn't have gone so smoothly.

How about:

I HAD A FAMILY EMERGENCY!

never ever use it. Its tired and worn out,and no one believes it any more.

Is anyone else really tired of crude language and expressions? Do people not realize how unprofessional it is and how negatively it reflects on the person using it?

All good stuff. Of course the best solution is to always deliver what you promised and inform those involved ahead of time if things are looking to be off track. My point is "no surprises", then you don't have to give a reason why things got off track, because they didn't. Of course, shit happens, and when it does, take the blame, make the corrections, and move forward. You will be remembered for your accomplishes so accomplish something!

Very true, I think having a remote boss makes this a little easier…