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Brad is a freelance writer trying to make it big in the video game industry. When he's not desperately pleading for your attention with his weekly Employee Evolution column, he is an editorialist for 
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I love my parents with all my hearts, I truly do. If they needed a kidney, liver, right big toenail, left big toenail or swim bladder I’d gladly give them mine. However, all that love doesn’t change one simple fact…
They are liars, liars with pants constantly on fire.
The lie they told me was not one of malice, but of ignorance, but it was just as crushing as if they had been plotting from the start to destroy me. It was as though my birth itself had been so traumatizing and painful that they had to conspire on a way to ruin me. The lie is simply this, “You can do anything you want so long as get a college education.”
Judging from your shocked silence I assume you may have heard this line too. I actually believe this whole thing to be some sort of conspiracy sprung on our parents that they accepted without question. Forget JFK, Roswell and the like, we need to figure out who is behind this. It seems like everyone of the Boomer generation believed that a college degree would be the magic bullet forever. Heck, back in the 50s my research shows that a diploma got you the high-profile, money-making job as well as a nice house and a sweet car. Of course, my research methods involve watching reruns of Happy Days, but I do feel that to be the most accurate of all known methodologies.
The funny thing is, I never caught on to this little untruth, even as other myths of my childhood fell by the wayside. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were resigned to the fiction pile, and I even learned the harder lessons that life isn’t eternal and the good guys don’t always win.
That last lesson I actually learned from professional wrestling. Say what you will about the subtext of sweaty men in tights grappling each other, the whole thing is quite a morality play for an 8-year-old. At least the producers knew not to completely shatter my innocence, because the bad guy always had to cheat in order to triumph over the good and virtuous hero, and you still had the feeling he was gonna get his in the end.
Still, even though I learned so much I still stubbornly clung to the belief that all it took was good grades and a college degree and I’d be made in the shade. I don’t know why I never caught on, it’s not like the signs weren’t there.
Obviously I wouldn’t be a doctor or a lawyer unless I stayed in school even longer, but I didn’t need that. I had the hazy sense of some middle management job that I’d work for 10 years before really climbing the ladder and getting into the upper echelons of a company. I could never see the point of the career center at my university, weren’t there tons of jobs out there just waiting for people with a scrap of paper in hand and a turned tassel? C’mon people, the recruiters are just waiting for us young and eager grads. You know, I bet they line the walk out of the auditorium, handing out business cards and pleading for us to call them sometime. After all, twentysomethings with no real full-time job experience and no proven work track record are exactly what they’re looking for, right?
As if my naïve ways weren’t bad enough, I also assumed it didn’t matter what you majored in. I drew this assumption based on the advice of professionals who said it wasn’t about the course of study, it was about proving you could do the work and excel in the environment. Whoever these people are should have their credentials revoked, as I had to learn the hard way the only guaranteed work right out of college comes for accountants and engineers, history majors need not apply.
After graduation, seeing as I had no jobs lined up, I moved back home and continued the search. The first few months were met with frustration, but I tried to keep my chin up. Eventually I paid a visit to the dean of my university, who had been a good friend and mentor to me the entire time I was there. After spilling my every frustration to him he looked at me and simply said, “Brad, if you had come to me four years ago and asked me if you could get a job with a history and political science degree I would have said no, it’s just not marketable.”
And so I was crushed.
The lie had won. It carried me all the way through graduation, making me believe I could really “be whatever I wanted to be” while it sat in the corner snickering and I never once even bothered to ask what was so funny.
Now I dwell in cube purgatory, waiting to be cleansed of the sin of believing in something so false for so long. Hopefully it’s not a 1:1 ratio for time served, otherwise I’ll be in this box for 20 more years, and I don’t think the Ryans are going to let me keep writing this silly little column that long. I may yet make it to where I want to be, but it’s going to be due to working hard at what I love, and not to a mystical, magical piece of paper.
So if you’re in the same boat as me, staring out over a sea of doldrums wondering where it all went wrong and how you could also buy into a lie for so long then join me in this pledge. Let us promise not to commit the same lie of ignorance and tell our kids that a college degree is a golden ticket.
Instead, let’s tell them they need to go to grad school, at least that way they’ll have a masters in uselessness rather than a bachelors, and then we’ll have something to brag to our friends about.
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“You can do anything you want” - I’m still in denial and believe that this is true. My trouble is that I don’t know what I want to do. If someone said to me “Kat, I’ll give you any job you want. Just tell me what it is”, I have no idea what I’d choose. So what do you want to do?
Nice post, Brad. You forgot the even bigger lie … the MBA. Just do the work and you can walk right into a managerial roll in a great company with awesome pay and amazing benefits.
My favorite is when people go straight from undergrad to business school. They get the MBA without ever stopping to even pick up a decent internship along the way, and then get offended when their undergrad classmates are hired before they are, because they, at least, have a few years of work experience. A classic case of disillusionment, but entertaining to witness.
My parents never told me this lie. Perhaps because we were living in a slum and didn’t know people who had exciting jobs. I grew up in a tiny apartment and slept on the couch with my mother every night.
I worked my @$$ off in college to get a science degree so I wouldn’t have to struggle like that for the rest of my life. I highly encourage this line of work. As a government employee, I currently work only 40 hours a week and earn a six-figure salary. I have lots of free time to spend with friends and family and to pursue hobbies. Life is good!
I too was a believer and had the same pitfalls coming out of college, however part of me still wants to believe. I graduated in 06 and have taken two different jobs, none of which are what I want as a career but are steps toward a greater goal. I am now at 23 thinking of pursuing an MBA just for the experience, and my co. will pay for it. I think the idea becomes a lie when we start to settle for things.
It is important to realize anything worth achieving takes time, but the key is to have a general direction in which to head. In the same breath I will quote Lewis Caroll
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
I turn 45 tomorrow and I love reading this blog. Occasionally there is really thoughtful insight into life for someone my age because the issues you care about are the real issues that life is about (personal expression, personal freedom, making a way for yourself, doing the things that you really enjoy) vs. the crap that people grow to care about once they start getting things (house payments, retirement accounts, children’s college funding. having the right furniture, the right car…)
Mostly though I find the blog extremely entertaining because of the ignorance displayed.
Here’s how it works (in general)…graduate from high school, get a college degree (any degree will do), get a job, start to figure out what does/does not suit you, get a new job or start a business and start building a life. When you think you are ready, find a mate and build a family. Pretty simple formula for a reasonably happy life.
Most (at least 75%) of the people I know who are in very well paying jobs (including several with Poly Sci degrees) are in positions that have nothing to do with their college education. You need that degree to be part of the “educated”. If you do not have it, you will be relegated forever to a sort of second class employee. Look at the degree as the price of admission.
So while I do not think your were told a lie, I do think the maxim should be rephrased to “If you don’t get a college education, you will find it much, much harder to do anything you want (and it may end up being impossible).”
To Brad: The college degree lie is a lot like my other two favorite lies that my mother fed me. 1. Prince Charming is out there and waiting for you. 2. Prince Charming will magically learn to put the seat down the moment you get married.
I think the worst part about the college degree lie is that my parents truly believe it is true. It is almost as if they told the lie for so long that they forgot it was a lie. Every job I have had since I graduated college has been met with a comment along the lines of “that’s it?” or “You know, Johnson and Johnson is always hiring sales reps”.
To Louise: I hate you
Good for you. If only there was some cushy government job for those of us with business degrees focusing on Entrepreneurial Policy and Strategy… if you hear of any, let me know.
I agree with Kat because I don’t think most of us Millenials know exactly what we want to do after college. Other than maybe a couple 2-3 month long internships when we were 20 years old, we have no real experience when entering the work force. How can we know what we want to do when we haven’t even really tried anything yet? That’s why I think we have several jobs for the first few years after college, hopefully determine from there a general path we want to be on, figure out if we need to go to grad school at that point or not, and take the jobs we want. It all becomes a little clearer after gaining some experience, I think. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself after graduating in ‘06. Hopefully this isn’t the next great lie too!
Good morning everyone, I can see the comment train is running at full steam today and that’s great!
A couple thoughts on some of the discussion this morning.
1. It’s funny when we talk about not knowing what we want to do after college. I actually thought I had a very clear plan, but life got in the way. Now, a couple years down the road I don’t want what I did back then, and my career interest came not from my jobs, but from a hobby. Actually, I started writing because I was terribly bored at work and needed a way to pass the time. Now, I can’t imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life. Currently the “day job” just really serves to pay the bills until I catch my big break.
2. I’m hoping that my generation doesn’t promise the next generation big things the same way the last generation promised them to us. The constant feeding of “you’re special, you’re a winner,” really fed our egos to the point that we truly believed the world was just waiting for us to come take the reins. If I ever have kids, I’ll be telling them nothing is guaranteed and being good at something doesn’t necessarily equate to success. I’m going to have very cynical children…
3. I’m sad to hear about the lie of the MBA as well, that was my backup plan! Gah! Back to cube farm then, time for the dead soul harvest.
Wow. I really had thought that I might be completely alone when it came to realizing that a college degree (or 2 like I have) is going to land you a job with some responsibility and respect. I was told the lie too. I was also told the lie that having a master’s degree will give you an even bigger boost. So I went ahead and made the grandiose mistake of getting my master’s degree and can tell you from experience it makes no difference. In my current job I am stuck in cubicle hell. I went straight from college to cubicle hell I didn’t even pass by cubicle purgatory. In my current position I spend my days wasting my time away, there are days I don’t even get work from my boss and any work I do get could easily be preformed by a primate in my clothes. I have been through 3 different jobs in the last 5 years all of them with assistant/secretary in the title and all absolutely unchallenging and meaningless. It is by far the most frustrating experience I have ever had. And it is even more upsetting to realize that I owe so much money in student loan debt and have achieved nothing but TWO pieces of paper I thought would be my ticket to an average life which includes a job that is challenging and meaningful. I am still looking for that opportunity but so far…not so good. I apply for jobs that I know I am capable of handling all the time but I know the recruiting manager looks at my resume and sees nothing but a bunch of jobs with assistant/secretary in the title and regardless of how much education I have and other skills I have, assumes I am not “experienced” enough to hold a higher position.
It is a great big fat lie, that’s for sure. My parents told me the same one. I’ll bet your family is either lower or middle class, too. Check out “Rich Dad Poor Dad” if you haven’t already. He talks about this Great Lie - that if you get an education and work hard, then you will achieve financial success. FALSE.
A degree in philosophy and studio art later, my true education has come from the real world and from the self-teaching I’ve pursued on my own. How did I learn about finances? Not from some piddly Quantitative Reasoning class in college, but from the reality of student loans defaulting, mortgage brokers, credit reports, loan amortization schedules, Quicken, overdraft fees, and the wealth of knowledge stored in acquaintenances who will let me pick their brains for a cup of coffee or lunch.
How did I learn about business? Not from Ethics 101, but from bad managers, good managers, experiences at start-ups and corporations, profits and losses sheets, business pro formas, presentations, org charts, etc. etc.
The difference is today how teachable and willing I am to pursue alternative avenues. When I decided I wanted to open my own business, I knew it didn’t matter that I didn’t have a business degree. I read “E-Myth” and then I went out and got myself a part-time job in the sector I want to start a business in. Then I started an entrepreneurship group and began asking people who knew more about it than I did to share their knowledge with us.
The world is an amazing teacher. Are we teachable? Do we adapt now that we know the truth? Get into the solution.
Since you tipped me off last week I’ve been waiting to see your take on ‘the great lie’ of our generation.
Some of the comments seem to be missing the point. I don’t think going to college was the big lie. My parents always told me ‘No one can take away your education’. This wasn’t any sort of guarantee on what it would do for me, just that once I had knowledge it was mine forever.
It’s the myth of ‘anything’ that causes grief. When I was five I had to choose between ice skating lessons & horseback riding lessons because my parents couldn’t pay for both. Luckily for me I chose horses, because my genes did not grant me any sort of ice skating shaped body. Except based on the anything myth I should have been able to choose either activity & done equally well. Genetics be damned!
Aside from the unrealistic nature of the anything myth, there also follows a predictable problem: If I can do anything, what should I do?
All my suburban cohorts & I suffered from a paralyzing number of choices.
Louise mentions living in the slums, sleeping on the couch. I’m pretty sure unlike me she wasn’t debating whether she should ice skate, ride horses, or some other activity. I’m guessing her main goal was survival. One goal, few choices as oppose to no goal and millions of choices. I honestly think it’s more than our brains are equipped to handle. Leaving us with things like the ‘quarterlife crisis’.
Example: When I go to Subway I usually have 2 soup choices. Perfect. Do I want A or B? When I look at my future I see an abyss of endless options. Then while staring into the abyss all I hear is the dreaded phrase: You can be anything you want.
To add insult to injury I’ve spent most of my life being told how bright I was, how great my future was going to be, etc. Which makes it about 100 times more frustrating to be a member of Cube Nation. None of this is what I was promised in the brochure.
Another side effect of the anything myth is we were given a path to success, but no instructions on decision making. I was told get good grades, be involved in activities, go to college & voila everything magically falls into place. So basically I had a path laid out that would keep me scheduled (so to speak) straight through until I was about 22. Then I got there. Poli Sci degree in hand ready to conquer the world! Except I hadn’t just reached a fork in the road. This was some sort of chaotic network of roads that looked like the brain child of Dr Seuss.
I’ve fumbled my way through most of my twenties now with varying degrees of success. The one thing that I’ve noticed is my peer group (myself included) needed almost 6 years in the real world to even begin to know what we wanted or to realize we were in a field we hated. It’s bizarre, but I have just as many friends in college now as I did at 22. A lot of them already have a degree, but now it’s not a degree that matches the decisions they have made.
I wish someone would have told to stick with my strengths regardless of popular opinion. To follow my gut over ‘the schedule’. Honestly I wish I had been told anything EXCEPT ‘I could be anything’.
When you base your research, and by extension your expectations for life, on television or anything that isn’t reality you are bound to be let down. Perhaps your parents pushed for the college degree because it is something that will help put food on the table and not break your back with endless hours at one job during the week and a different one on the weekends. Forget video games. You’d crave sleep rather than complaining that your spirit is being crushed. I am sure your parents never said the phrase “middle management as soon as you graduate.” That is what you read into it. College is not the end-all-be-all. You take what you learned and use it as a stepping-stone. You don’t work for 4 years & that’s the end. How boring to get everything in life on one try. You have to fight for what you want. You can’t ask politely and assume that you are entitled to it because guess what — we all feel entitled to it. If I sound extremely mean (and over 30) I promise I am not. I am just as crushed (I’m in the performing arts; boy do I understand the evils of a job that doesn’t inspre passion). Our society is fit for the Ayn Rand’s of the world. Find your balance between functioning in this world to be financially stable and incorporating what you enjoy so the time is bearable. Perhaps you need to work on your personal brand and your attitude. It is all in your perspective. Read the book “Harold and Maude.”
Still, even though I learned so much I still stubbornly clung to the belief that all it took was good grades and a college degree and I’d be made in the shade.
If getting good grades was an indicator of your actually a) being smart and/or b) working hard, then your long-term prospects are pretty good. At the very least, statistically, having a college degree is excellent insurance against the kind of life facing people who don’t have one. Over your career, you will probably make about 1000% more money, pay lower insurance rates, have better credit, and enjoy lots of other little perks that you wouldn’t notice unless they weren’t there.
I also was a poli-sci/history major and it took me about 20 years to find a “job” in my field (I worked as a temp for a year after graduating, then went WAY far afield), but the experience of being well-educated never stopped helping me, even long after I forgot a lot of the stuff I learned in class. If you were just in school to collect the paper, then good luck. You weren’t lied to so much as deluded.
Dude…dude…dude….
I know EXACTLY how you feel, because that’s how I felt at your age. You can do or be anything. It just happens to be a lot harder than you may have originally expected (or for me, harder than I expected).
Undergrad: Sure you don’t have to go to college, however, it makes things a lot easier. It’s the new standard. Therefore, without at least a bachelors degree, you are like the high school drop out of the 1950s. Undergrad is not a trade school, therefore you aren’t guaranteed a job at the end. However, you at least have a certain base-line level of schooling.
Grad school: Again, it’s not trade school. You can go to truck driving school and they will help you get a truck driving job. Not true of grad school. However, it has been my experience that as you get to a certain level in your career, most people have a graduate degree (4 out the 5 senior managers at my business have one.) Believe it or not, in grad school you actually learn some stuff that is valuable to your career.
It’s been my experience is that if you focus on what you are good at - and then trying to continuously get better at that - you will be successful. But that success may not be what you originally thought you wanted at 18 or 25 or 30.
Attn: Gen Y’ers reading this. Read Russ’ comment above and apply liberally. He’s spot on.
We all started out the same, degree in hand, ready and expecting the world to unfold before us. Not so fast, all the degree does is get you in the door, once in, it’s up to you on what to do next. But don’t worry you’ll figure it out, we did.
I think the problem post-college is this: unlike 30 years ago when Boomers were going to school, we now have too much choice when it comes to careers and not enough self-knowledge to narrow our focus. Today, selecting a career path is like being taken into a grocery store and told to pick a food without reading the labels, while simultaneously being informed we’ll have to eat that food everyday for the next 2 years. That’s an intense decision. Having a degree wouldn’t be the issue if we lived in a society where the job options were limited post-college and the career paths were clear…but we live in the land of overwhelming opportunity!
Contrary to some of the posts above, I believe there are ways to focus in on what you want right out of college, as opposed to the trial-and-error method they suggest. Moreover, Gen Y is smart enough to know that they don’t want to fall into the ‘golden handcuff’ effect of ending up in a career that supports them financially, but fails them in other key areas for satisfaction.
The answer lies in utilizing a set of tools designed to help young professionals determine their skills/strengths/preferences and then coach them directly on how to leverage these insights to make informed career choices. While it’s not their fault, many parents and colleges just don’t have the tools or expertise needed to coach Gen Y properly on their careers in this day and age. They are using outdated approaches, and as you pointed out with the ‘college is a must for success’ lie, basing their advice on antiquated information.
Let me know if you want to try a program out that helps young professionals with this very issue…
I agree with the previous two commentors. A college degree and even the college experience itself can open a lot of doors for young people. Internships, study-abroad trips, research projects, community service, professional groups–these are all opportunities available to college students that can give you the baseline professional experience to land a good job after college. An education just helps you get your foot in the door, but its personal responsibility and hard work that is going to get you through to the other side.
I think the problem is that a lot of young people incorrectly assume that passing a few liberal arts classes is enough to get them a high-powered corporate job right out of college. This is just not true for most people. It doesn’t really matter what you study (I majored in comparative literature myself) as long as you can demonstrate to an employer that you are willing to learn and produce quality work. But it’s hard to do that if spent that last four years avoiding work altogether.
If you believe that coasting along for four years in a sheltered environment is enough preparation for the real world, then you are lying to yourself.
**And Brad, if you really do want to become a gaming journalist, move to Redmond, WA (home to Microsoft and Nintendo) there are lots of openings for those positions here!
Brad,
My intention was not talk anyone out of an MBA. Coupled with decent work experience, I’m sure it’s very valuable. I’d be a little hypocritical to say they’re worthless when I’m working on a management degree that no one has ever heard of.
Greetings,
I read this thread with interest. I was homeschooled, and because of that, all (and I swear, all) of the feedback I got outside of my family was “Get a college education, and you will be set for life. You will look better, have better looking children, and lead a comfortable, safe life, until the day you die.”
Screw that.
While I would like to think of myself as a genius or at the very least a magnificent species of masculinity, reality says I am not, so don’t think I am. I gradded early (15), moved out at 16, bopped around for 3 years before settling in and gaining a trade by 20. Got married and quit focusing on that trade the same year, but by my last estimate got $71 an hour on a contract, which I like. I began to study writing, found out that everyone has a different opinion on what writing exactly is, and found out that I was not going to pay $45,000 to be tossed around by professors. Took up study on my own, won a contest in a decent lit. magazine, figured I was on to something. Now, my wife and I are flat broke, but with negligible debt. Learning is a constant fact, and I am confident that one day it will pay off. Here is what I have been taught, in a nutshell:
1. A college or university degree may or may not be worth it. Like racism, it is largely unfounded. I have found stupid, incompetent people in both arenas more often then not.
2. Personal “success” consists of doing what you got to do, not what someone else says you got to do.
3. Education is an attitude and a process that never ends.
4. Fear is normal, but no excuse.
5. There are logical consequences for every action, accept them.
6. Work hard but don’t forget to play at least a little.
7. The people you want in your life don’t care about pieces of paper. Period. They care about how functional you are.
8. There is a time for everything.
9. Nobody is forcing you. Until a point, you hold the reins. This point is one I really want to push.
10. Acts of God exist outside insurance forms. Humans are not bright enough to survive on their own.
11. Innovate, innovate, innovate.
12. Be schrewd.
13. Take everything you have ever learned and throw it out the window at least once a year. Whatever doesn’t break when it hits the ground, pick up and use again. You’ll find that real wisdom doesn’t break.
This is EXACTLY what I’m going through right now.
I have my degree (with two unrelated majors completed in four years), a very impressive resume for someone my age if I do say so myself, and such a massive amount of loan debt that I am now back living with my parents because there is no way I could make rent AND pay my loans.
There are a thousand and one things I WANT to be doing, but as they are all in the non-profit sector or involve moving overseas, it just aint gonna happen until I get these loans under control. They are so not under control!
From my point of view, the only thing a college degree is a golden ticket to is an immediate future of massive debt and frustration.
(Oh, and no one seems to want to hire me, despite the impressive resume! Anyone else feel me?)
Lies we believe, we want to believe.
Think about the older generations and lies we were told to keep society intact and working, at least enough to support their retirement.
Social Security falls apart without ongoing contributions from the younger generation. Even then it will collapse sooner or later, because there will be too many retired and too few working living too long compared to when it was first designed and implemented in 1935.
Things fall apart.
The illusion of grass is always greener.
Where there is a will, there is a way to wreck it.
In addition to parental lies, there are lots of lies from society. My mother wanted me to get a degree which I think is a good idea in most cases, but I’m the one who has to sit in a cube for 40 years. That’s perhaps why the movie The Matrix struck a chord with me - I felt we were all zombies walking around brain dead!
I refused to accept this reality. I started contracting in IT and currently work remotely from home through a VPN connection. All because I determined what I wanted and made it happen by asking for it. Many people are afraid to ask - they think they might be fired or something. I would suggest anyone in a cube become proactive rather than reactive - design the life you want and take the steps to achieve it. Don’t try to find the dream job, try to find a opportunities to make as much as possible and get out of the rat race soon after. This also requires saving your money.
For me the winning scenario is IT consulting (or other types of contracting) in a niche market. The high rates come from having a specialized skill and by asking of course. Nobody posts the rates I get on the internet job sites. If you can start your own company that’s even better. Many people with ‘only’ high school diplomas have done much better than university grads and MBAs.
Good luck to everyone in cube nation!
Will
“2. I’m hoping that my generation doesn’t promise the next generation big things the same way the last generation promised them to us. The constant feeding of “you’re special, you’re a winner,” really fed our egos to the point that we truly believed the world was just waiting for us to come take the reins. If I ever have kids, I’ll be telling them nothing is guaranteed and being good at something doesn’t necessarily equate to success. I’m going to have very cynical children…”
I feel the same way. My parents (and their siblings) were all children of immigrants and were taught that education was the path to financial security — so, in turn, they drilled it into my head that doing well in your classes meant you’d be guaranteed a steady, fat paycheck. (Or if nothing else, the nice pat on the head that you got from bringing home good report cards.)
But several years out of college (where I did very well), I realized that for all my good grades and supposed talent, my soul was being ground out of me while watching other people with less education and sharpness/talent succeed.
So my kids are going to be taught it’s not necessarily how smart you are, but how smart you are about working your circumstances to the best of your ability. I’m not having them suffer for years, wondering what they’re not doing right, until they figure it out on their own.
But, in the defense of my parents (and possibly yours) — they grew up in very different times, back when going to college was a really big deal. For them, I can see how college opened those doors and earned them those pats on the head by default. Not so these days.
As a Gen Xer, this whole navel gazing introspection routine just seems to waste a lot of energy, get you nowhere and create a disempowered victim mentality; something that NO employer finds desirable. To paraphrase an earlier comment; it’s time to grow up, take responsibility and move forward. And moving forward in ANY direction is preferable to waiting around for a perfect opportunity. Complaining about it just isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Education is still valuable, but it’s what you do with it. If you expect it to drop a high paying job in your lap, then you haven’t learnt anything at university. If you expect an MBA to turn you into a super-manager ready to lead people in your early 20’s similarly, you haven’t learnt anything. As someone with an MBA, I can tell you that if you’re getting one without at least five years experience in the workplace behind you, then you’re wasting your time and money.
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