Thinking Inside the Box: What Business Cards and Kissing Have In Common

I'm going to be perfectly blunt, I hate networking. I know, I know, as a millennial I'm supposed to be a social butterfly, someone who can walk right up to a complete stranger and initiate a conversation about anything from the weather to the price of grain in Micronesia. However, I find networking to be too much like dating, and I never was any good at that either.

Firstly, let's talk about why I hate networking. It's not that I haven't tried, my goodness, have I tried. I spent a whole lot of time both in and out of college trying to get connected with people in a variety of industries. From academics to politics, public sector and private, I was scheduling all sorts of meetings and talking with anyone who would give me thirty minutes and a glass of water. I admit it; I was an informal informational interview prostitute.

Most conversations ended with an exchange of business cards and the encouraging, "Give me a call if I can ever help out" but nothing more. Once I scored a pity interview, but could never get back in the door. I was like the career version of the one-night stand, initially boosting my self-esteem, but then doing the walk of shame back to my car.

I tried the more informal social networking route, but a lot of people at networking events don't have a whole lot to say. Yes, the weather is crazy. Uh huh, those politicians sure are wacky. No, I don't know much about French wine, mostly because I can't afford French wine. Oh, and the fact that getting drunk at $100 a bottle doesn't really appeal to me. Why can't we just cut through the formality and get to the point? I need a job, you have a job, and we need each other. So how about we give this thing a shot and see what happens?

Funny thing is, even though I don't like networking, I'm doing it right now. Every one of you out there reading this is a potential contact, just an email or comment away from taking our relationship to the next level, so to speak. So what do you say, willing to take a chance on a guy whose idea of a productive afternoon is discussing potential new markets and strategies for maximizing revenues?

Oh yeah, I know you love it baby, call me sometime.