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Ryan Paugh graduated from Penn State in 2006 with a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism and a minor in Business. After working in corporate communications, freelance writing and reporting, he co-founded 
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New here? Employee Evolution is a part of Brazen Careerist, Inc. Brazen Careerist is an online community and career center for Generation Y. We also consult and speak with organizations on best practices for recruiting and retaining Generation Y and how to effectively use social media to reach your target market. To contact us about consulting, speaking, or how your company can be a part of our Jobs section, please visit our contact page.
Whenever I think about networking, the first thing that comes to mind is reaching out to the big people who can help shape my life in big ways. It’s probably the way most people think about networking. Which makes sense, the bigger picture usually comes first. But it isn’t the only way we should be thinking about how we network.
Another great way to think about networking is how we interact with the people we already know and have established a semi-trusted bond with. I like to think of this as network maintenance. And the best way to make it work is to set up daily networking goals.
Sure, things are usually not as structured as they look when you write them down on paper, but being aware of what you want to accomplish in any given day is enough to keep yourself moving in the right direction.
‘Check in’ with one person
“Just checking in” is a great way to remind someone that your connection is important. There’s so many ways to do it too. So if you’re an introvert, you don’t need to worry about picking up a phone or setting up a coffee date to make it work.
While checking in is usually just a way to remind someone else that you’re still around, it can sometimes trigger some great opportunities for collaboration. A long-lost fraternity brother contacted Healy and I a few weeks ago just to catch up. Now he wants to get involved and write some posts on Employee Evolution.
Call one person who can use your help
The other day I talked to Ray Jarosz, a contributor at Employee Evolution and fellow entrepreneur. He needed some advice on how to work effectively in a startup when a major team member is older than you are. Considering my experience with Penelope and Brazen Careerist, I knew I could provide some worthwhile advice.
So what did this opportunity to help a fellow peer offer me? Besides that fuzzy feeling you get when you do something nice, nothing immediate. But who knows when I’m going to need to call on Ray for some advice in his realm of expertise?
Call one person who can help you
Last week, I talked with two very popular recruiting bloggers, the Recruiting Animal and Jim Stroud. I had been impressed by a few podcasts they ran, so I wanted to get some advice on starting my own.
Not only do they give great advice, but they’re both really nice guys. Sometimes you never know what a blogger is really like until you pick up the phone.
But what was really great about making the connection was that both now send me follow up emails when they come across something that might interest me. Without taking the time to reach out and ask for help, I would have never established these connections.
Popularity: 16%
What does a “checking in” e-mail read like?
I was recently asked to “keep in touch” and “check in from time to time” with a potential future employer. Nothing exciting has happened to me since the last time we talked - I’m a student looking for a job. So what is it I’m supposed to say exactly? It’s not like I’ll say “Hey, how are you? how is your family?”
thnx
Jim is great and he is the HR Evolution columnist for PB Magazine. What I like best about him is how he takes an entire function of management (HR) and brings it down to a level that anyone can understand (with some humor too).
Anyways, this post is important because it notes how hard it is to network. Don’t you think it’s easier to network when people come to you and the reverse? Enter…personal branding!
Yana:
“Checking in” emails may seem awkward, but they’re really not. You can flat out say, “just checking in” and I’m sure they’ll appreciate you for it.
But in your situation, why not ask if there’s anything interesting going on in the company that might interest someone young like you. Since you’re still a student, it’s probable that you wont benefit from the opportunity, but showing interest will go a long way. And once you have graduated, you’ll be the first person on their mind.
I was thinking the exact same thing as Yana.
As an introvert myself, I find the hardest part of networking is finding a pretense to call someone I barely know in the first place. Calling someone just to ‘catch-up’ is incredibly awkward for me. I feel the need to have a specific reason for contacting someone. This is easier if you already have an on-going relationship with someone (business or personal). But if there isn’t a current relationship, just a long-ago acquaintance, it feels weird to call someone out of the blue. If someone I barely knew called me for this reason, I know my first gut reaction would be to say “Listen, what do you want?”. I’m not rude enough to say that, but I’d be thinking it.
I know it’s necessary to make these kinds of calls, it’s just hard to figure out what to say.
Scott:
I also find a thread of awkwardness in just calling someone for the sake of calling. Checking in for me usually consists of a quick email or some form of social media communication. It allows me to do my network housekeeping without being too intrusive.
If they don’t get back to you, you can always try to call. In this case, you have a decent pretext for dialing. “Hey, I sent you an email a week ago…”
The important thing to remember is that it doesn’t always have to be a call. A great contact of mine, Shawn Graham, just Facebook messaged me to remind me how warm he is down in NC while it’s zero degrees up in Madison. All he did was crack a joke, but still, it reminded me that he was there and that’s powerful in itself.
Good question raised…..I think it depends on the person you are checking in on and the strength of the relationship
You don’t want to call donald trump everyday to nag him about giving you a job….
Let me give a more specific example to illustrate my dilemma
Suppose a coworker has left for another job some months ago. I really don’t have a reason to contact her, but I suppose she could be considered a good networking contact because we’ve worked together.
How do you initiate a contact? Sending an email to “just say hi!” seems rather ambiguous and open to misinterpretation, since we weren’t really friends when she worked here so acting like a friend now is not really appropriate. We don’t work together any more, so we’re not coworkers, and don’t have anything work-related to discuss. How to you start a conversation with someone, when your primary reason for the relationship no longer exists?
Scott:
My suggestion would be to just “plant the seed.” You don’t have any goal in networking with her at the moment, but it sounds like you see potential for future dealings.
Any connection you make without a goal in mind is going to seem ambiguous to the other person, but if you do in fact see potential, just go for it. Ignore the awkwardness and just see what happens.
Along the same lines as what has been discussed already, I want to mention that if there is any question on whether or not you feel like you’re forcing it…don’t.
In the time I’ve been with my current company I have fortunately impressed a few people. Some of significance, others that are not. A few that are not are definitely younger, and I get the distinct feeling that many young people are going after quantity of network contacts as opposed to quality. I don’t think this can be overstated. For example, that senior person in your department might be a higher quality contact than your two managers who have bounced around.
I think all these tips are great, and we should try to remain in contact with friends/contacts we have made, but if it feels like it’s forced, don’t do it. And also don’t do it for the sake of having one more contact.
Nathan:
Good call. And on that note, it’s important to recognize that it’s a waste to network with anyone and everyone. I feel like some people force a connection just for the sake of networking and that’s not what it’s all about.
One great thing about the Internet and social networking tools is that we have the ability to pick and choose who we network with. So set up a goal and find the right people to network with. Don’t force it, plan it.
Phone calls are great but, at least with our generation, much of your “network maintenance” can be done passively. Here is part of the method I use to stay in touch or increase my “share of feed”:
newlycorporate.com/2008/01/11/be-a-gen-y-rockstar-increase-your-share-of-feed/
Yana and Scott,
I am an introvert too and I swear it just takes practice. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone, it’s how you learn (and it’s kind of a rush!)
To a potential employer (I cut and pasted this from a real email):
Hi ***,
Just a quick note to follow up with you on the *** position. Are there any new developments?
Thanks,
(You can also ask if they know anyone who may be looking for an intern etc.)
To ask for business (another real email to a realtor who’s a friend of a friend):
Hi ***,
I wanted to let you know I have a new role at *** as a ***. I’m doing a little marketing up here in *** and I was wondering if you know any commercial real estate brokers up here, or how best to get acquainted with some? I’m always looking for referral sources, and I know you are as well.
How is the fam? Thanks for the info on the duplex.
Have a good weekend,
It feels weird, but it’s really not and it will become second nature after a while. It helps to remember you’re not just soliciting them, you have value to add as well. If they need an intern they will be glad to get your email, and if they don’t they won’t begrudge you for looking for a job!
P.S. Scott, ask her how things are at her new job.
To the introverts:
I think Jessica gave some outstanding email templates for networking.
I also find that sometimes you have to be a little audacious when talking to people you barely know. You can’t worry about if people think you are weird; some probably will, but no one will be rude about it. (And if the person is rude, he or she isn’t a good person to network with anyway.) Be willing to make some mistakes and realize people are less likely to hold it against you if you were sincere and kind in your networking attempt.
Jessica & Monica:
Great additions. I think the biggest problem people have in any social situation is taking that big leap of faith. Regardless of the outcome you accomplish a great deal. Whether it be initiating a conversation at the bar or confronting a co-worker to make a connection. It’s all the same. You have to be willing to make a few mistakes in order to get anywhere.
Thanks Jessica!
It took another introvert understand what I was looking for: a template for what exactly to say.
Call one person who can use your help
Ryan, I agree with your sentiment (and your section title), but disagree with your example. Helping a friend/colleage who comes to you for advice is noble, but real networking is when you and your colleagues make it a practice to communicate good information to each other without being asked. Did you stumble upon a good article in a trade magazine or your local newspaper? Send it on, or send a link to the electronic version.
The beauty of it is, once your network is operating at that level, the introverted among us won’t have such a hard time communicating. I’m getting information, I’m sending information, and all of it is unsolicited, so I don’t have to worry about what the opening line in my “checking in” e-mail looks like and whether it seems too transparent.
This is one of the reasons I love blogs like this one. You’ll notice that our self-described introverts (I’m looking at you, Scott M and Jessica!) both do a great job communicating here, although they may feel awkward about other kinds of communicating. The dynamic here is different, but we’re still networking.
Sean:
Do you really think that reaching out to someone who needs advice/help isn’t networking? I find it to be one of the most powerful forms of networking out there.
Don’t get me wrong, sharing information can be a great way to network as well, but it’s not the best. I get links to great information everyday, but the people who send it to me aren’t telling me anything about themselves or what they hope to get from networking with me. Hence, nothing happens…
My experience with Ray was a deeper connection. I helped him and we learned a little bit about what each other are doing. Possibly down the line they’ll be an opportunity for collaboration. Who knows?
What’s important to remember here is regardless of how well we communicate via email, LinkedIn, blog, etc. The little tidbits of information we pass back and forth only hold momentary value. We write, we read, we learn. The people you’re going to remember are the ones that reach out and do more. That’s the kind of value that lasts.
Does that make sense?
Ryan, I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t networking. Of course you are. But you’ve indicated twice now–once in your article, and once in your response to my comment–that you don’t know what kind of next step you can expect. He asked the question; you provided the answer. Maybe someday you’ll have a question to ask him, and that’ll be nice.
What I’m getting at is that now you know more about Ray, his goals, and what he’s trying to do, and hopefully he knows more about you as well. I hope you’ll now be on the lookout for opportunities to continue to help him, and not wait for him to lob the ball back into your court first.
People tend to see networking as a big “favor trade” or a way to line up resources for career moves. That’s short-sighted. A network is more than that, or can be.
You make a good point about all the crud people put into your Inbox every day, and believe me, I get that. But if Ray sent you something tomorrow that said, “Ryan, I saw this the other day and it made me think of our conversation; thanks again for the help with that,” I bet you’d read it and think about it, and maybe even use it. That’s the power of networking that I’m trying to describe.
Sean:
You’re right, I absolutely would read it and think about it, maybe even use it. What you’re describing is a good example of what I referred to as “checking in.” Sure, it’s just a simple exchange of information, but it still keeps you on radar.
Here’s something interesting to note. All 3 of the networking goals I noted will get you exactly what you’re looking for, valuable information from valuable people. It works for me and I think it can work for you too.
Ryan,
I think that blogging in general is ultimately an effort to network. That’s what brings me to EmployeeEvolution anyway. That and the great advice.
What I like about this post is that it encourages persistence, which is possibly the most important thing in building a network, as well as succeeding in many things.
It’s much like working out everyday for 15 minutes. If you do it everyday, you’ll have great results in a month or so. It’s just a matter of being consistent.
networking is done everyday, you made an excellent point about reaching out. I have found that most people want to help you and talk about what they do or need. The more practice you get in listening and helping others the more oppurtunities that arise. For example I was speaking with a peer of mine and she mentioned this conference that her mom is coordinating - so we started talking about what I do. I gave her my card and her mother contacted me for a presenter slot and a long term contract leading leadership development with her youger staff!
Always meet and break the barriers of fear
Great discussion!
The hardest part about networking for me is remembering to put the work in to maintain relationships for absent people. People are within my ‘network’ only as long as I happen to come across them in my daily life. When they are gone (change jobs, move away, join a different club) then I tend to forget about them.
This is because introverts like myself tend to get exhausted in dealing with people. Actively seeking out a new relationship, or maintaining a old one, is inviting more exhaustion, and everyone tends to avoid unpleasant things.
As a result, I don’t have a lot of experience in making these ‘checking in’ emails or phone calls. The social skills that come so easily to extroverted people are a mystery to me. I find myself needing to keep an actually list of “rules of engaement” or stock phrases in my head during situations like these, since it doesn’t come naturally.
It’s sort of like learning to navigate a foreign culture, except I do it every day. Which is why I loved what Jessica wrote; it gave me another stock piece of information I could pull out when needed.
Scott,
I think you can be an introvert and still be good at networking. I’m an introvert too, but I force myself to be outgoing when I’m with a group of people. (Not that I’m claiming to be the best networker - I still have a lot to learn there too.)
You can become a good networker just by practicing. I love the comfort of the “canned” email templates and think they are a great place to start. But eventually you have to branch out and start differentiating yourself when you network. The only way to do that is to start using your own words, which is scary and challenging in its own right. It gets easier in time though.
The qualities extroverts have that make them so good at networking are confidence and openess. They are comfortable enough with themselves to put themselves out there, which is essential for building a good network. These qualities can be learned by introverts.
Monica & Todd bring up great points. It doesn’t matter if you’re introverted, extroverted or somewhere in the middle, being good at networking takes practice.
Learning to maintain relationships is exhausting, but so is lifting weights, at first. With practice it gets easier to handle and with determination you’ll be able to handle more and more. Just like any good exercise, you need to get yourself regimented, practice everyday and build up your abilities.
I think these three points are a good place to start. Try to do them every day in one form or another. In a month or so you’re likely to see results.
Another great post and great debate!
I recently interviewed Christine Comaford-Lynch (author of Rules for Renegades) for a project I was working on. Christine is a relationship expert (amongst other things!) and one of the tips she recommended was to appreciate someone daily.
Everyday, ring someone, email them, talk to them and tell them why you appreciate them. That way you are networking and building the relationship.
It does work.
Andrew
Ryan,
I have chosen this post for my weekly GreatManagement Inspirational Articles - The Best Advice From Around The Web. (www.greatmanagement.org).
Andrew