3 Ways to Look More Professional than You Really Are

Some great ideas that I will definitely be using, but the only caveat I would have is using the first point in interview situations; maybe it would work as you've said but I've read that shaking hand first in these situations is a bad idea because whoever initiates the shake has the power (at least subconscious)

First appearances count and how you are perceived lingers….

I would have to agree with Dan. Not only do you have to act professional, but look presentable. I'm all for advocating Jean Day everyday, but in important meetings proper attire should be considered. I have met people before that look great, so my instincts say "they must be professional." At times this was only 50% true after really getting to know them, but they did pull it off initially…meaning their appearance and presence had something to do with it. Plus, if you look great you tend to feel great and that really comes across in a meeting.

Lee:

My first reaction tells me that whoever wrote that was reading way too much into things. But maybe he's right and I'm wrong.

In my experience though, I've seen positive results. People like to see that you're outgoing and nothing shows that off better than having a hand ready to meet their's as soon as you're introduced.

Dan:

You bet they do!

Diana:

You're very right. Appearance matters just as much as anything else. And it's funny, when you dress up you do tend to feel more professional than you would in a T-shirt and jeans. I guess it's just part of the vision we have for professional people.

Great Ideas!

Small talk is so important, underrated I think. It is the best way to start a rapport with anyone. When I look back to the various clients I have been at, I always remember the employees that would sit in our room and small talk with us.

It is definitely a skill many people are born with. However, I think it can be acquired by learning to listen to who you talk to. Once you find out what someone is interested in you begin asking questions and ka-boom, your in middle of small talk, and one step closer to a friend and contact!

I think it all comes down to being inclusive. Small talk, as pointless as the conversation seems, says to the other person "I'm interested in you and I think your wroth my time." Once someone feels welcomed, your one step closer to any goal you have; business deal, job, employee, etc…

Thanks for excellent post.

That's kind of funny about the Thank You note to the VP. I guess it makes sense that they wouldn't care, but I think it's still a little weird that there are times/places where being considerate doesn't really matter. Probably depends on the situation. Good thought though.

Just a few ideas….

1. Men – wear a nice watch even though your cell phone has a clock on it

2. Read the newspaper on a daily basis. This will help with the small talk too

3. After you shake hands (firmly, with eye contact) introduce yourself by your first AND last name

Brandon:

Thanks! Small talk is definitely a skill, but like you, I don't think it's something you need to be born with. A lot of it is about listening and learning to ask questions even if you don't necessarily care about the answers.

It sounds bad to say, but you have to sometimes care about things your don't want to care about in order to make small talk successful.

Amanda:

When I shared this post with a friend of mine I got the same reaction. So maybe the situation I encountered would be different for somebody else. I'd suggest that you gauge someone's personality before you show your gratitude. Maybe it's all about doing it in the right way, which is different for different people.

Scott:

Thanks for adding these points. The watch thing is great. It shows a lot of class.

Tidbits I pick up in the newspaper, or just from watching CNN in the morning really help be a better conversationalist.

And finally, introducing yourself by first and last name after a nice firm grip…nothing says pro quite like that.

Very good advice, Ryan.
And I second what BrandonA said about small talk. Many people of all generations have trouble with this, and that is why they hate networking in person. There is a call for small talk all through our days – at work, on a plane, in an elevator or waiting for one, in a cashier's line – you never know who you will meet that will be a good contact, and you won't know if you don't start talking.

Reading newspapers, news on the web, blogs, the weather channel – just be aware of the world around you. There is plenty to talk about. If you are in someone's office, comment on something (positive) you see. Ask someone how their day is going. (Probably use discretion in talking about politics.) Before you are going to meet someone, plan what small talk subjects you might start off with to break the ice. It gets easier with practice and shouldn't be a hindrance to success.

Agreed. I've "over dressed" for my job since I began. It's gotten to the point where I am uncomfortable if I am not wearing a tie and a pressed shirt, even though it's business casual. Even though I'm 27, I look 21, maybe 22. Add to that the fact that most of the management in my firm is 40+, I've got to do everything I can to not be the "kid".

One thing I've got to remember is to keep slang to a minimum, and speak a little slower than I usually would. While my peers know exactly what I am saying, someone older may not.

Hey Ryan,

I loved this advice and just sent it to a group of interns. Thanks!

The older generations often fail to remember that these techniques need to be taught and developed in new professionals.

That said, the upside these days is managers are really 'wowed' when a twentysomething does what you explained. Ironically, I just heard from a client yesterday who was offered the job on the spot because he was the first candidate to do the things you described.

PS – I disagree with your former manager that a VP doesn't need to know you were grateful for the chance to be in a meeting. Not sure of the specifics of the situation, but to me, it was a gesture from your gut – and that meant you were excited about the meeting. If I'm in charge, I like to know that employees are inspired.

Hi Ryan

On shaking hands. I am an "older" woman and offer my hand for a handshake whenever I meet someone for the first time. I do a lot of work with kids in school and I always shake hands with them. Some are a bit taken aback but after that most just reciprocate. I remember shaking hands with a 7 year old recently and he was really chuffed. Next time I met him he offered my his hand to shake!

And on small talk if you are really uncomfortable about making conversation the simple solution is to ask an open question -( such as what kind of project are you working on at the moment, or how long have you been with this organisation and what does your day to day work look like) – of the person they have just met and then let them flow. Most people really like to talk about themselves. That person will often finish by saying they enjoyed the conversation but in fact only they did the talking. A good tip is of course to listen to what they are saying and think about how you might use what you learned.

I agree with JT above. If it feels right – send a thank you note.
Jackie

I have one to add: posture! You could be wearing Hugo Boss and have the grip of a titan, but if you have droopy shoulders then you simply don't look as professional. A simple roll of the shoulders back and down can give anyone the air of confidence of a millionaire.

When I first heard this about a month ago, I figured I'd give it a shot. Heck, maybe the people at my workplace would take a 5'2" petite blonde girl a little more seriously if she had a confident posture. They did. What I didn't expect is that I would too.

Interesting subject Ryan. The strategies you mention will help to build relationships in the early stages, whether personal or professional, but what's more interesting is what you say about professionals having 'an aura about them'.

I actually take care to point out to people that they shouldn't try to be professional – that's missing the point. The point is to figure out what that 'aura' is, and I think it boils down to 3 things.

1. Having a sense of ease about who you are, what you do and how you do it.
2. Knowing that it's okay to not know what you're doing sometimes, and being willing and ready to wing it when you need to. After all you know that you can apply your skills, strengths, experience and talents to get results.
3. Knowing that everyone in the room is an indivdual, and having fundamental respect for that.

The people I've worked with who exhibit those qualities are the people (not just professionals) who I'd jump at the chance of working with again.

Becomeing a diluted, homogenised 'professional' is too ghastly to think about – the only way to get that 'aura' you mention is to leverage who you are and what you've got to do the best work you can.

Yes, a firm handshake is a good thing. Nothing worse that grabbing a cold fish! Is this a cultural thing?

Thanks to everyone for some great commentary. Let me talk to a few people's points real quick.

JT:

I'm not sure I agree with the situation I was in with the VP either. Maybe I was a little bit overzealous. It was only one of those average day-to-day meetings after all. But anyway, whether she was right or she was wrong, I think it's a good example of how important it is to know a lot about the people you are communicating with in order to work professionally and successfully.

Jackie:

Kids are probably a different ballgame, but it's interesting to hear how quickly they catch on. Makes me think that etiquette such as hand shaking should be taught while we're young so maybe we'll be more engaging individuals later in life.

Holly:

Nice addition! Posture is very important. I used to cringe at the individuals that walked down our office corridors all hunchbacked. Not professional and not appealing whatsoever.

Steve:

Good point as well. Nobody (or at least I hope not) wants to be a homogeneous, assembly-line professional because a real professional can see right through them. I've dealt with a few of these in the past, and although they're great workers and they try really hard, there's something about themselves that is still a little off.

John:

I heard that Koreans actually shake hands very loosely by custom, but maybe someone else who has traveled there in recently would know better than me. Good point to bring up though. All the professional behaviors we practice in the U.S. may not translate too well in other countries.

Ryan,
Great point to bad I did not read this post 8 year ago when I had to sit through some of my first VP – and consultant meeting. I did everything wrong from showing up with my shirt untucked to spilling water on my shirt and lap. From that meeting on whatever input I had to add was always filtered through that lens.
Now I am a consultant and I have to work to lead small talk – a good point about knowing your client be informed ask open quesitons and follow the other persons lead.

Shake hands, make small talk, and be appreciative – all excellent points, Ryan. I've presented in boardrooms with the CEO, CFO, & company President and watched myself & other's defend their dept's budget on the floor at televised City Council meetings.

I've seen many young professionals immediately discounted by the decision-makers because they made those cardinal mistakes or, made a few other mistakes like…

Not making eye contact, improper posturing, getting nervous and talking to fast, or speaking in a child-like high pitched voice.

These actions say, "I am intimidated by you (or your position) and I really, really, hope that you consider what I have to say is worth your time." The way I see it is – you are there for a reason. If you are there, then someone already thinks that what you may have to say will be worth everyone's time, so why doubt yourself?

Dress the part, greet everyone, participate in/initiate the small talk (if you can without inappropriately interrupting), speak, sit and stand with a professional air of confidence, make eye contact, and know that you bring something to the table.

Great and relevant post.

I have chosen this post for my weekly GreatManagement Inspirational Articles – The Best Advice From Around The Web. (www.greatmanagement.org). Andrew

Small talk is something that takes a lot of hard work for me. I make a conscious effort to keep up with current events and add a few books into my reading list from the bestsellers in the NY Times, so I will have something to talk about.

I would add, don't be afraid to talk about something out of the ordinary. I much prefer asking people about their thesis topics (mine was Medieval Medicine) or if they play an instrument than chatting blandly about the weather.

[...] though, keep these emails to a minimum.  People already get way too many emails and thanks are not needed for every little thing, though I find genuine thank yous nice on any [...]

The hand shaking part somehow comes more naturally with men. I once shook hands with a woman who was interviewing me for a job and it was pretty awkward. I felt I'd caught her off guard somehow. Haven't done it since. Not at job interviews anyway.

[...] though, keep these emails to a minimum.  People already get way too many emails and thanks are not needed for every little thing, though I find genuine thank yous nice on any [...]