I just went into business with one of my friends, now what?

Ryan Healy and I have been friends for years. It all started in 616 Geary Hall at Penn State. We were randomly assigned to be roommates during out first year of college. What a wild time…

During our first year out of college, we bantered back and forth about our future careers. We wanted to start our own business. Create something where we could share our advice and experience with other young people like ourselves. And eventually, we did.

Learning to work together wasn't easy. Besides Healy tutoring me in Accounting during my senior year, our friendship was merely social. Our new business relationship took some patience to understand.

Every day is different. Some days are just like college. Others, we're nearly at each other's throats. Starting a business with one of your friends is an incredible experience, but if you don't prepare yourself for the unavoidable drama, it's really going to suck.

Talk about anything and everything

Men don't complain to other men, especially about things that might seem petty. In a business relationship, you have to let go of this mentality.

Healy and I had poor communication skills during our first month working together. At times we didn't say a word to each other over the course of an entire day. It was bad. Really bad.

I ended up flipping out. After lots of yelling, senseless pacing and god knows what else, things started to get better. But it didn't need to come to that.

Avoid an emotional collapse by sharing your frustrations early. We don't make that mistake anymore, and things have run a lot smoother since.

Give each other space

Living with someone you work with is hard, even when they're your friend. And it's not just us. Other young entrepreneurs run into the same problem.

Part of it develops from spending way too much time with one person. The other part occurs when you start scheduling your life around one another.

Sometimes Healy wants to work, but I want to watch T.V. or vice versa. It sucks. When someone else is working, you don't want to be the guy that's sitting around doing nothing. Or if someone is watching T.V., how do you concentrate on work?

What ends up happening is that your schedules will merge. You'll sacrifice spending your time the way you planned on spending it and you'll hate every minute of it.

This isn't good for a startup. The time you spend away from the business strongly influences the effectiveness of the time you put in.

The best thing to do is to get office space. Separate your work life from your home life and make few exceptions. But that's not feasible if your business isn't fully funded.

What can work for anybody is to create your own schedule, share it with your team and tell them to be respectful of the time you need away from the company.

Be understanding, even if you don't understand

We all have our quirks and they make for some interesting and/or irritating situations.

You must be willing to deal with the eccentric behaviors of your co-workers if you want your business to survive. People don't change because you want them to.

I'm a pretty eccentric guy sometimes. And Healy is about as even-keeled as they come. If you look at Healy, then look at me, you'd probably wonder how these two guys even ended up being friends. It happened because despite our differences, we're pretty understanding, even though we don't always get each other.

If you're not understanding with your friends, forget starting a business together. Save the friendship and keep things social. Not only will the company fail, but the friendship may too.

But, as counterintuitive as it may sound, if you're willing to be considerate in your dealings and communicate when times get rough, it may be one of the most amazing things for a couple of buds to do. It's an emotionally trying and physically exacerbating road. Sharing that path with a good friend is an immeasurable experience.

A Millennial's Muse – Part 14: One More Thing Before I Go

Here read the true tales of a young twenty-something cubicle dweller by day – dreamer of "there's got to be more than this" by night – trying to find the moral of her everyday story. Walk with Jackie down cubicle lane every Wednesday as she humorously shares the pitfalls and high points of moving to a new city for her first job, building a life post 5 o'clock, and searching for meaning in every crevice of her stu-stu studio.

Dear Fellow Millennials,

I would have liked to close this series with a neatly-woven message about what I learned during the bumpy course of my first job and all the questions I found answers to. I would if I could, but I can't. To be honest, I still live in the gray and wear a layer of confusion no matter the season.

I began my (beloved) relationship with Employee Evolution with a post paralleling dating and job interviewing. Dating can lead to a relationship, interviewing can lead to a job and the finality of both are things I (and I'm sure you) have dealt with. This whole series is going to come full circle. Can you stand the suspense? Get your beverage of choice, kids, because this is a long one.

Puppy Love Sans Heavy Petting

I met Danny in 7th grade, and he was the first guy I was really friends with. It started with a crush (mine on him). I initially wanted us to be a modern rendition of Romeo and Juliet, but it became clear (quickly) that we could only ever be Will and Grace (Will was gay if you didn't watch the show). Always the late bloomer, my friendship with Danny allowed me to experience the emotional connection of a boyfriend without having to actually – you know – do stuff.

People said that we bickered like an old married couple, which I loved hearing, because it spoke to a closeness beyond its years in real time. I can remember coming home, storming up the stairs to my bedroom and my mom asking what was wrong.

"We had a fight." It was the most serious relationship I never had.

Six years later, we were about to graduate from high school and were barely speaking. We grew apart (a general description for my first heartbreak), and the only thing left to do was say good-bye before heading off to different colleges.

As Danny walked me home on one of my last nights before morphing into a Gator, I felt him reach for my hand. I tried to hold back the tears, but when I saw that he was already crying, I made us a weepy duet. He said that ours was the good-bye he didn't want to have. When we reached my house, we coupled crying with hugging. He silently told me everything I had wanted to hear.

My pseudo-romantic relationship with Danny prepared me for future adventures in dating and also primed me for the yet-to-occur love whammy – when I find someone I adore who doesn't say (like Danny did), "Jack, get real. I'm physically repulsed by you."

Two and ½ Weeks Nonsense

I spent the first week making procedural documents to ease the transition of my workload to the poor kids left behind. I felt a cold reception from many people after news of my resignation spread like wildfire (no joke). Maybe it was resentment, but nonetheless it hurt my feelings, which surprised me because I thought I had emotionally checked out long before.

Magnum couldn't have been nicer to me, though. She cried a few more times, and I'd receive Instant Messages from her that read: (Fast forward to today when Magnum and I are both at new jobs and share a healthy friendship that includes occasional socializing – who would have thought?).

During my final week, I sat in a cubicle that became more barren by the day. I relished the feeling of throwing things away – training manuals, meeting minutes and the staff phone directory (reprinted monthly due to the high turnover – still gives me the giggles). My sentiment turned nostalgic when I removed thumbtacks from photos that reminded me of the fun I did have, like when I was part of a trio that won the company's Halloween costume contest for dressing up as the cast of Three's Company. I make one hell of a Chrissy Snow.

As I trained co-workers to do aspects of my job, I realized the magnitude of responsibilities I had juggled and how many skills I was leaving with. And while it wasn't a job I enjoyed, I'm proud of myself for mastering something I cared nothing about. It gives me hope that when I do find my magnum opus, Latin for "great work," I'll have what it takes to hit a professional high-note.

I gave cards to managers I respected (and who could one day serve as references) and, in the rawest form of selflessness, offered all of my remaining office supplies to neighboring cubicle dwellers (sometimes you find strength you never knew existed). That reminds me; I'd be terribly remiss if I didn't mention Neighbor, wouldn't I?

In the time left, I tried to visit Neighbor in her cubicle as often as possible. She had work to do, so I was happy to just gaze at her while she responded to emails (fast forward to today when I delight in the too few times we see each other and remain forever grateful for the laughs and support of my corporate angel).

Hit the Road, Jack

On my last day, people warmed up a bit (maybe the office supplies mitigated their bitterness) to wish me good luck and offer the corporate yearbook version of "Have a good summer! Don't ever change! K.I.T." I did my exit interview and left through the revolving front door one final time. From there I went to a coffee shop for a frozen mocha likely as caloric as a milkshake. I sat there, sipped my tasty beverage and started to cry.

I had just gotten out of a situation I despised and instead of being overjoyed, I was overwhelmed by the thought of how drastically my life would soon change. I called my Dad, who has a magical way of appeasing me with, "Jackie, trust Daddy (why must the man always speak in third person?), everything will be okay."

And it is.

Still Amused

I've been at my new job for almost five months, and it's the complete opposite of my former position. Opposite doesn't translate to perfect, though. Like my girl Emily D. also said, each day I "dwell in possibility." I continue to have a wandering eye for graduate programs, alternative Peace Corps-esque experiences, and my career whammy. It's got to be out there. Maybe it's hiding with my love whammy?

Whether a relationship or a job (or a writing column) is ending, know that it's not the actual goodbye that matters – it's everything that happened beforehand which makes you think a goodbye should do justice to the story built over time. So, in this spirit, love someone the best way you know how to (even if it's an unconventional relationship) and work well at whatever you do (no matter how much you dislike it), because both will teach you how to recognize who and what you want in this crazy life we try to navigate.

Thank you, [your first name], for joining me these past [any number up to 14] weeks and paying me the highest compliment by allowing me to become a part of the story of your life.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, ending this series in the way each muse has begun. When I read this quote, I feel less of the self-imposed weight I carry on my shoulders, knowing that when I'm ready my whammies will come. I hope yours do, too.

Until we muse again,
Jackie

6 Public Speaking Tips for the Young Professional

Its been said that the number one fear in most people's minds is the fear of public speaking. Does this mean that people would rather die or become critically injured than speak to a group? I doubt it. But standing in front of a group of people alone and vulnerable is a scary thought for most of us.

I gave my first keynote speech a few months ago to a non-profit group in New Jersey. Truthfully, I was terrified. But there's nothing more exhilarating then facing your fears head on.

So I sucked it up and gave the speech. Now I absolutely love the rush of speaking to an audience. The dynamics of speaking to an older audience as a young professional are definitely different then speaking to a group of your peers, but the same rules hold true for almost any speech. Here are six things to consider before giving your next big speech.

Practice, Practice, Practice

In the infamous words of Allen Iverson, We're talking about practice, man! Public speaking, especially at the beginning is all about practice. The better you know your speech, the easier it is to deliver.

I literally practiced my first speech every day for a month before the conference. Just ask Ryan Paugh, he was so sick of hearing my speech that he wanted to ring my neck. I gave my speech to the window, I talked to the TV, and I spilled my guts to an empty law classroom.

Practicing a speech does not mean you need to memorize each word. Every day you practice, the speech will be a little different. Some days will be better than others, but by the end you will know what works and what doesn't.

Meet your audience

The single best thing you can do before a big speech is talk to the people who will be in your audience. If this means showing up early, do it! For one, you will probably make some great contacts. But more importantly, meeting your audience assures that there will be some familiar faces in the crowd when your mind begins to go blank.

Also, after talking with a few people, you will realize that they are genuinely interested in hearing you speak, and they are actually routing for you to do well. Everyone will want to talk to you after the speech, but it's up to you to initiate the conversation with them beforehand.

Ditch the killer opening line

Now that you practiced way too much and showed up early to meet your audience, its time take a few deep breaths and walk on stage. Everyone will tell you to hook your audience with a great one-liner. Don't do it.

I called up a well respected public speaker for some advice the week before my first speech. I asked him about the opening line. He said, "Listen, if you're not very funny, don't tell a joke. And if you don't have a great line that just comes to mind, forget about it. You will only look inauthentic if you try too hard."

So I walked up there with a big smile on my face and I said, "Hi. My name is Ryan Healy. Thanks for having me here today."

That's it. Short, sweet and to the point. If it's not in you, forget hooking the audience with a one-liner, hook them with the rest of your speech!

Use Visuals

Great public speakers don't use visuals. Great public speakers don't need visuals. Their content and delivery are amazing and visuals only take the audiences attention away from the speaker.

But odds are, you're not a great public speaker, so don't try to be a hero. Create a simple PowerPoint with key words and a lot of bullet points. Using a PowerPoint until you get completely comfortable speaking is more than acceptable. A visual will keep you in line and on topic and will allow your audience to follow along with you.

Tell Stories

Nothing connects you with an audience better than a good story. A personal story will humanize you and let your audience relate to you on a deeper level and an entertaining story will immediately hook your audience. My father has been giving speeches for over 30 years, and he still attends courses on the art of storytelling.

I've found that my best stories are about my childhood or about what my friends and peers are doing with their lives. But as long as it's interesting, you can literally tell a story about anything. Make it up if you have to!

Make fun of yourself

The best way to lighten up the mood is to make fun of yourself. If you stumble over your words or stutter, don't pretend it didn't happen. Go ahead and poke fun at yourself for trying to move your mouth faster than your brain is working.

If you're young and you're speaking to an older crowd, poke fun at your age. Chances are, the audience is a little skeptical about why a "kid" is lecturing them. Showing that you recognize the irony in the situation goes a long way in gaining the audiences respect and attention.

These are just six of many public speaking tips for young professionals. If anyone else has any tips or advice from their public speaking trials and tribulations feel free to share.

7 Professional Etiquette Tips You've Probably Never Heard Before

It's no secret that personal branding is becoming essential to succeed in the corporate world, and one of the best ways to create a positive personal brand is to practice great professional etiquette.

I recently attended a talk given by one of the etiquette coaches for JP Morgan Chase and was inspired by some of the counter-intuitive social rules he shared, so I embarked on a search for other possible faux pas most people commit every day without realizing it.

Here are some of the most obscure American professional etiquette tips I could find that Millennials can use to impress their co-workers, or maybe even their bosses.

After You?

Men are accustomed to opening doors for women, so it's no wonder the most confusing etiquette rule has to do with revolving doors.

Rule #1 – If you can't open it, she doesn't go first. In a formal business setting, women are wearing heels and will have more difficulty pushing a heavy revolving door. With revolving doors, it's polite for the men to go first and allow the women to "glide" through the door behind them. Chivalrous too.

Drink Classy, Drive Classy

When it comes to client dinners, it's always best to identify all your dishes and utensils lest you drink out of someone else's glass. An easy way to remember how to dine with class is keeping BMW in mind.

Rule #2 – Not just a luxury car brand, BMW also stands for "Bread, Meal, Water/Wine." Looking down, Bread is on your left, Meal plate in the middle, and Water and Wine glasses on your right.

No Wining

Rule #3 – The wine ritual is silly at best, but still must be exercised when entertaining clients. In case you need a refresher…

The client always chooses the wine and you order it no matter what. The wine guy brings you a glass and pours you a few sips, which you happily drink. No matter how it tastes, you never send the wine back. You then drink one and only one glass over dinner, no matter how thirsty that plant next to your seat looks.

Business Cards Are Meant To Be Admired

When you want someone's business card, it is best to offer yours first, rather than ask them for theirs.

Rule #4 -Business cards are exchanged, not given. Upon receiving a business card, you should take a second to admire it and compliment the design. If that person has one of those dull corporate cards with no pictures on it, pick one thing to make a comment on instead. Example: "Oh, you work on Upper Wacker… I recently had dinner at a great restaurant in that area." But only say that if you actually did, or you'll be embarrassed when they ask a follow-up question.

Where's the Keg?

Ladies – though we are in the 21st century, it is still unfeminine to carry a beer around at a professional event with food and drinks.

Rule #5 – Just like accessorizing, a woman must drink appropriately for her age. If you insist on that cool, refreshing taste you learned to love in college, order a Light and ask the bartender to pour it in a wine glass for you. No one will be the wiser, as long as that once-charming belching habit you perfected at frat parties doesn't showcase during the event.

Last In, First Out

Rule #6 – When traveling with executives from your department, always let the person with the most seniority get in the taxi last. Because he or she is the busiest and most important, he should get out first when arriving at the destination.

The Elevator Shuffle

If you live or work in a building with a busy elevator, you have certainly taken part in the elevator shuffle, that awkward dance everyone performs at each level to let people on and off.

Rule #7 – The elevator shuffle has steps just like any other dance. Follow them or be accused of having two left feet:

1. Always let other passengers off before boarding. This requires you to stand about 3 feet away from the door as it opens, and preferably not directly in front of it.
2. The person closest to the door enters first. "Ladies first" does not apply and tends to delay the process. Men, if this makes you uncomfortable, stand further back than the ladies while waiting.
3. If you are one of the first in the elevator, choose your floor quickly and move to the back of the elevator to let more people board. Don't be a button hog. If you board and can't reach the buttons, politely ask the person closest to choose your floor for you.
4. Don't worry about order. Within three floor stops everyone will be where they need to be. If you are getting off at one of the lower floors and there are people in front of you, politely say "excuse me." It is always appropriate to get off the elevator to let someone out, then re-board.
5. No talking in the elevator. I guarantee your elevator partners would agree your conversation can wait until you reach your floor. Besides, the elevator music is meant to be enjoyed, not talked over.
6. A full elevator is a full elevator. Know when to wait for the next one to come around.

What do you think of these professional etiquette tips? Are there any other tips you have come across that are not as well-known? Please share in the comments section!

3 Important Things That New Bloggers Neglect

Looking back over the last 6-8 months, I could've never predicted that my life would become so consumed by the world of blogging. Back in college I wanted nothing to do with them, yet here I am, roughly a year and a half out of school and I've collaborated to build a company founded in the world of online social media.

I've been blogging a lot lately. Not just writing, but scouring the Internet for young professionals who are passionately sharing their experiences through their blog. I've come across some great blogs, but some could be a lot better.

Here's a reality check for new bloggers: It's not always the writing that makes a blog suck. Functionality (or lack thereof) can kill it too.

Here are a few essential options for new bloggers that are easy to incorporate and enhance the power of your blog more than you know:

Optimize your RSS

Believe it or not, some great writers who have blogs don't publish their RSS feeds. What a waste. There's no better way to generate a consistent audience. And other than incorporating the standard feed icon on your sidebar, there are other ways you can use RSS to optimize your site.

A lot of readers are more interested in comments than your actual posts. Employee Evolution has a few readers that only show up when a heated debate is in our midst. Create subscription to your comments section and you'll get these people's attention whenever new discussions begin.

Also, there's nothing worse than having to play "Where's Waldo" to find your feed. Your RSS icon should be one of the most prominent clickable items on your page. If I can't see your feed, it's useless.

Implement a search tool

I love to link to other bloggers in my posts. And people love to be linked to.

The only problem is, sometimes I can't find a relevant topic with in a blogger's recent posts. To find what I'm looking for, I do a keyword search on their site to find exactly what it is I'm looking for. That is, as long as they have a search tool.

Archiving your posts and categorizing are only the first steps in making your old posts searchable. If a reader knows exactly what they're looking for, they don't want to comb through months of archived posts. They want to type in what they're looking for and get it on demand.

Every once in awhile, a media source will contact Employee Evolution about a post we wrote a long time ago. They didn't find that post through exploring our entire archive; reporters don't have time for that. They were either referred to it or found it through our search tool.

Contact info that's easy to find and easy to use

Unless you're playing the anonymity game, which is pointless, you should incorporate a way for people to contact you that's friendly and easy to use.

A lot of people incorporate contact forms to try and minimize spam. It's reasonable, as long as you're being responsive.

When I send an email via a contact form, I worry that I'm sending my message into a black hole. And when I don't get a response for days, it confirms my suspicions. The best and easiest way to get people to contact you is to just provide an email address.

And a little side note: the "yourname (at) yourblog (dot) com" thing is cute and I get that it cuts down on spam, but it does nothing for the person who is trying to contact you. If you're like me, you copy and paste people's emails straight from their blog right into an email. Call it laziness, but c'mon. If I don't like it, I'm sure there's someone a lot more professional than me having a serious hissy fit.