Weak Ties and Strong Friendships

One of the most difficult things I've faced since graduating college is keeping up with my friends. You would think that because of Facebook, MySpace, Linked In, Blogs, Twitter and all the other fancy social networking tools out there, staying in touch would be easy. And I'm sure it is much easier than it was in the past.

However, a yearly happy birthday wish on a friend's Facebook wall, or following your friends' daily lives through their blogs and Twitter updates, is a far cry from maintaining a friendship. Real friendships start because of a connection between you and another human being, maintaining those friendships requires putting in the effort to preserve that connection.

What social networks have created is a plethora of weak interpersonal ties. Wikipedia says,

More novel information flows to individuals through weak rather than strong ties. Because our close friends tend to move in the same circles that we do, the information they receive overlaps considerably with what we already know. Acquaintances, by contrast, know people that we do not, and thus receive more novel information.

Social networks are great, as you can see from the above definition; they're actually a breeding ground for the creation of weak ties. These networks give the user the ability to create hundreds or thousands of weak ties, all transmitting novel information through their respective networks.

But these networks also make it very easy to decrease the number of strong ties or actual friends that each of us has. When we all leave college and move to different parts of the country, we're no longer moving in the same familiar circles. Without a conscious effort, it's very easy for old best friends become weak tied, online acquaintances.

Everyone should embrace new technology and social networks to create as many weak ties as possible. Having a million online acquaintances allows you to embrace the diversity that exists in the world and provides the connections you need to advance anywhere you want in your career. But the way I see it, a thousand weak ties cannot replace the connection that comes from one strong tie.

So, pick up the phone and have a heart to heart with your best friend from college, log into Gmail and start a conversation with your High School buddy, or send a long email to your ex girlfriend or boyfriend (assuming he/she doesn't hate you).

I'm going to take my own advice and do the same, because other than family, I can't think of one thing more important than a strong tie and a solid friendship.