If you really want to make a difference, forget about your expectations

Published by Ryan Paugh on December 6th, 2007 in Work/Life | 3 Comments

One of the hardest parts of being in a startup is trying to figure out where you fit. The business model changes all the time, the kind of work that needs to be done changes all the time, and I am still learning how to find my strengths.

In any stressful business situation, it's crucial to have a reliable means of escape. Back in the corporate world, I merely had the gym, but now that I'm traveling on a much less stable path, I've decided to take things a step further and become a volunteer.

In college, I raised money for kids with cancer through Penn State Dance Marathon (THON), and the feeling it left me with was indescribable. This time around, I didn't want to raise money, but give my time instead. So I decided to become a tutor.

Last Thursday was my first day at the Lussier Teen Center. I expected to sit down with a teen and a math book and hope I remembered some algebra.

As soon as I walked in the building I thought of my parents and all the grief I must've put them through. "How am I going to do anything meaningful here?" I thought. I didn't even know where to start.

It turns out that the center is a home away from home to some of the kids, and maybe even more of a home than their actual home for others.

The teens had full reign over the décor — walls were plastered with vivid graffiti art end-to-end. There was definitely some talent in that building.

I decided that I was not there to tutor. I was just there to be someone's friend.

But besides the coordinator, I was the only white guy in the building. So I wondered. Did these kids want some random 24-year-old white guy trying to be their friend?

Then I met one of the regulars, Julius. I think he was 17. We played Soul Caliber on Sega DreamCast and he whooped me five times. Then he let me win.

"You've been hustling me this whole time!" he exclaimed. But we both knew full well that he was just giving me a freebie.

Though he'd never had a lesson in his life, Julius played the drums like a pro. I swear. I've never seen a kid his age with that much rhythm. When he told me the band instructor at his school has been dodging him for years I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I think he was just too good.

By the end of the 3-hour session, I felt great. And the thing is I didn't tutor a soul. But it didn't even matter.

I feel like a lot of people steer clear of great opportunities because they don't feel like they'll really make a difference – in terms of both professional life and volunteer life. I myself was questioning my capacity to help that very day. But here in Madison I have learned fast that in business and in volunteering, you need to be flexible in what you are willing to offer in order to make sure you are contributing in the best way possible.