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New here? Employee Evolution is dedicated to helping the Millennial generation answer the hard-hitting questions that come with the biggest transition of our lives. Be sure to visit our about section for the full story. Since you're here, check out our best articles in the archives. We've also put together a list of some Millennial-friendly employers on our jobs page. Any questions? Feel free to contact us.
When Ryan Paugh wrote me a Facebook note asking me to provide tips on “How to stay true to yourself while chasing the dream,” I closed my browser and didn’t revisit his request for two weeks.
After all, how could I, the king of perpetually selling my soul to “the Man,” write anything about staying true to oneself?
In 2004, I was on top of the world. I had just chartered a chapter of a fraternity in record time at Johns Hopkins University, finished a stellar internship at Bloomberg Financial where I rubbed shoulders with the CEO and won the stock market competition, I had a beautiful girlfriend, a job offer and I hadn’t even started my senior year.
Yet, there were things I forgot along the way. As I tried to be “Mr. Perfect,” I started to call my family less. I became more concerned with myself and my needs than those of others. I lived to add titles to my resume and to win every opportunity possible. And for what? I don’t know.
It took selling my soul to a man who wouldn’t take it: Bill George, before I started realizing the importance of being truly authentic. In working with him I was able to begin applying his tools and bring meaning to my life again.
Get to know yourself:
Where is your favorite spot in the world? Wherever it may be, mentally place yourself there and ask what it is you are connected with in that moment. Then, do your best to align yourself with those things in life.
Get Feedback:
Ask others for direct feedback on how they think you’re doing as a person, a friend, a colleague, etc. If you don’t know anyone who will give you direct feedback, you may need to rethink the criteria you use to keep friends.
Take Risks:
Tell people how you feel and take action. It might be awkward to tell your boss how you really feel about your job, but opportunities will open up when you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.
Have Fun:
Be honest about what you like to do. Do you like eating corn dogs at the beach? Then do it - and enjoy it wholeheartedly. Having fun helps remind us how to keep all the other things in perspective.
Life, as they say, is definitely full of twists and turns. If we are able to stay true to ourselves during this journey we’ll certainly have more surprises and opportunities to live for. What’s more is that we’ll influence more people around us and leave a legacy that cannot be duplicated.
As for me, I have no idea where I’ll end up next, but I know that by staying true to what’s important in my life, I’ll have little problem getting there.
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I love the ‘be honest about what you like to do’. Too many people convince themselves that they like or lover something all in the name of pleasing someone else or trying to achieve something or make more money. In my experience, ‘faking it’ never brings happiness or long term success.
As far as the risks involved with telling your boss how you really feel about your job, do it before you get married, have kids or have a mortgage or you may not be in a financial position to take that risk.
I would also add that if you do that, don’t do anything that will burn any bridges. Your next interview could be with your boss’ wife’s cousin’s husband’s coworker whose son you went to high school with - yeah, that actually happened to me. Luckily, it went well.
I can appreciate Joe’s experience. It took me until the age 33 before I had the Ah-ha Moment that helped me understand the need to be authentic in my pursuit of a satisfying career so I could have a successful life.
Being a logic girl, type-A personality, I like to add even a little more structure into the contemplation process. Specifically, I look at the 8 key areas of life: career, finances, mental self, physical self, significant other, friends & family, physical surroundings (ie. home, personal possessions), and hobbies/recreation. To me, these are the areas that need to be balanced. I then create my personal definition of success for each one. Finally, I discuss them with several close confidants to confirm that they are not only attainable, but work together so that I don’t find myself pursuing one goal that only serves to hurt another.
Then, every several months or so (or when I’m feeling conflicted) I pull them out to reflect, change, and/or refine them as necessary. Something about reviewing them regularly clears my head and always seems to help me prioritize what I should be doing in my life.
It’s helped tremendously…
Joe Chung is one of the most inspiring individuals I have ever met. Your ass feeling lazy?– he’ll make you want to cattle prod yourself in the rear.