My cami walk of work shame: Tips for wiggling your way out of awkward work situations

Published by Ehal76 on October 10th, 2007 in Work/Life | 7 Comments

I wore an unnecessary camisole/tank to work today. I'd planned on wearing a different shirt – one that required a little extra coverage over my bra – and in finding that it wasn't as clean as I'd thought, I put it aside and threw on another shirt. I kept the cami on and made my way into work.

Around 10 a.m. the cami was riding up and getting caught on the shirt I'd had on top; it was just being overall annoying. So during a trip to the bathroom I took the cami off. And then I tried to figure out how to carry it from the bathroom to my desk without looking like I'd just stepped out for a quickie.

The funny part about this is that I've done this before – the cami take-off, not the quickie. Every time I've done it I've been overcome with awkwardness. How do I get this obviously scant piece of clothing to my desk and into my bag? Should I start carrying my purse with me to the bathroom just in case I need to remove an article of clothing? Should I always wear pants with big pockets?

I don't know. What I do know is that everyone runs into awkward workplace issues and not many people know how to get out of them with style and grace. Therefore, I bring you my top 5 list of workplace mishaps and how I wiggle out of them.

1. Oops, my shoe farted. Come on, we've all had a pair of shoes that didn't fit perfectly against our dainty feet. Inevitably you'll be walking around the cubicle farm and hear a "pfttttt" coming from way below your behind. Assuming it's not a real fart – shame on you if you do that outside of the bathroom – you've just had a shoe fart. I get these from time to time. I like to cover them up by announcing, loudly, "darn shoe!" Sometimes if I'm feeling a little witty I'll say something like "Guess my shoes shouldn't have had the burrito for lunch." I don't know how many people believe me or even hear it, but it makes me laugh.

2. Did I really just pick my drawers in front of someone? Again, we've all encountered this. Your skivvies felt like getting a little closer and you wanted to keep 'em separated. From society's perspective, men can get away with a scratch and no one thinks anything of it; women have had to perfect the panty pick. For most, a simple trip to the bathroom will suffice; however, sometimes you can't find a bathroom when you need it and have to improvise. I personally like the "back in a corner and pretend like you're smoothing out your pants or skirt" approach myself.

3. I was talking, but no one was listening. There are two ways of looking at this – either you've been talking to yourself and didn't know anyone was there or you thought someone was there and started talking. In my office, we talk over the cube walls a lot. Sometimes I'll say something funny and think the folks around me are there to listen; then I turn around and see they're not. I feel like a real ass when I do this. There are other times when I'll be talking to myself, "oh my god you moron," and find the VP of operations standing right beside me. Again, I feel like an ass when I do this. I suppose I can get over this by always checking around me before I talk. That's not as much fun though. Sometimes wit just happens.

4. I can't come in today because I'm hungover or have the runs. I know, I'm being crude. How many people have been too "sick" to go into work but not sure how to leave the message with their boss? I'm comfortable telling my boss I've been really sick and praying to the porcelain gods even when it was Jack and Coke that brought me there. I just don't tell him about Jack or Coke. Same with the other "ailment." The closest I've come is telling my boss I think I had food poisoning. No need to get into details.

5. You're doing or have done something the Conservative Right would deem appalling, but you're excited to share. For me, it's my pole dancing class. At first I was nervous and hesitant to share with all of my coworkers the kind of dance class I was taking. I would say I had a dance class. But then I realized I'm not ashamed that I'm doing it; in fact, taking the class has made me feel more confident so why not share? Go ahead and share. If it puts a smile on your face who cares what people think.

While some might consider this list vile and crude, let's face it — we all have moments of non-brilliance. Does anyone have other awkward moments like these and how do you execute them without drawing too much attention to the problem?

Leave your thoughts here. (7 responses)

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Sarah D

Oct 10th, 2007 at 8:11 am

I love this post, it made me laugh! Some of my moments of non-brilliance at work have included:

* getting a big ladder up my tights when I need to be dressed formal, and not knowing whether it was tackier to draw attention to it by making an obvious trip to the loo to take the tights off or leave them on and try brazen it out. BTW, I have learnt that carrying a spare pair in my bag only serves to make me feel more hard-done by when this happens to my spare pair too.

* wearing pop socks (ALWAYS under trousers of course) and having them puddle down around my ankles and feet while I'm walking around and not always near a loo/ descreet corner. I have learnt to never wear these vile vile things as a result.

* realising in the middle of a presentation which involves lots of hand and arm gestures that I have visible sweat patches. I have now learnt to road test every item of upper body clothing for this.

* splitting the seam in the crotch of my trousers (yes, this has really happened to me while goofing around during a coffee break). Luckily, ever the well trainined girl guide, I always carry a needle and thread in a contrasting colour for just such an occasion.

* spilling tea/coffee down my light-coloured top at key networking events. No solution for this yet.

* snapping the heel off my shoe just before going into an interview. Ditto.

It's funny, these kind of things really used to bother me before, but I reckon I take them more in my stride now. And they really make me laugh too – I really believe other people are more worried about how they come across. It's amazing what people don't notice about you when you stand tall, act confident and look them in the eye

I've just realised these are all wardrobe malfunctions. Interesting. And probably a good job that I work from home most days…

Ems

Oct 10th, 2007 at 9:34 am

Extremely entertaining post. You have brought a smile to my cubicle.
My most embarrassing work story happened just a few days ago. All during the day I wore a pair of bloomers that didn't' fit quite right. I kept trying to discretely pull them up. Eventually I gave up and let them go until the breaking point: right before they slid completely down. This is less frustrating, but much more dangerous especially when you opt for a skirt. I went to the restroom and when I finished my drawers didn't feel quite right but I though nothing of it because I had the problem most of the day. I didn't realize until I walked out of the restroom and into the office that I actually tucked the front of my skirt into my underwear. Jose, our maintenance man, was the only one who saw.

Tiffany

Oct 10th, 2007 at 11:22 am

Oh, I'm always talking over the cube walls, and it's hilarious when the other person never responds or has on ear phones. Great list. I also enjoy: My leftovers in the microwave smell disturbingly like fish; My skirt is tucked into the top of my hose (this one has happened to me – while not at the office. Luckily, a co-worker noticed before I left the restroom!) and I have no good exuse for not washing my car, it just won't stop raining, but it looks like I live on a dirt road.

Thanks for the laugh!

Scott

Oct 10th, 2007 at 12:27 pm

Erin -great post. Sometimes the funniest stories are when we poke fun at ourselves.

I think my readers would love this. I'll be including this as part of my 'Casual Dress Friday' post (my spin on the lighter side of our career lives) on my blog careerwaymark.com

Thanks for sharing.

Melanie

Oct 10th, 2007 at 4:48 pm

This post made me laugh! I have been caught in similar situations. One experience I had was getting hiccups right before a meeting. I was meeting with a couple people from another department to answer their questions about a project and about every other sentence I would hiccup! I apologized at the beginning hoping that they would forget about it, but we ended up just laughing about every time it happened in the middle of my words! Luckily they were nice about it and my hiccups subsided by the end of the meeting.