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Kelvin is a twenty-something Filipino op-ed columnist for the Sunstar Davao (
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Let’s be frank. You can’t get anywhere in your career without doing a little bit of networking. It’s a necessity in the business world.
In China, guanxi (relationships), are vital to getting things done. In the Philippines, it’s the same thing. If you have many kakilala (acquaintances), you are bound to get what you need. In Iran, having a large collection of ashnas (important contacts) is a badge of honor one wears proudly on his chest.
It seems as if it’s not what you know, but WHO you know.
You won’t know many people (and have many contacts) if you don’t network. How do you do it unobtrusively then, and without raising eyebrows? Or without looking like you are trying to network?
Here are a couple of simple tips on how to network without really trying:
1. Never turn down an invitation to meet, have coffee or lunch with someone — I first heard Sam Davidson of CoolPeopleCare mention this on Rebecca Thorman’s blog, Modite, and I find it to be a simple but effective way to network. No matter what country you are in, or what culture you are dealing with, people inevitably invite you to have coffee or lunch. Just say “yes.” Go talk to the person and you’ll be surprised at how easy networking really is.
2. Join a Club –- Everyone has hobbies. So go join a club and meet people with mutual interests. It’s easier to meet people, break the ice and talk when you already know what they are interested in.
A lawyer friend of mine recently discovered the wonders of golf, spent a fortune learning how to play, then joined a country club. He now meets potential clients through mingling with golfers. And he does this without looking like an ambulance-chasing lawyer. Plus, even if he doesn’t get clients or contacts, he still gets to golf, something which he has grown to love!
3. Start your own blog or website — Having your own website is an amazing way to let people know about you. You can make your presence known online and let others reach you with no problem. For example, back in my university days, I made a website for what was then my greatest passion – Anime. I put my heart and soul into that website, all in an effort to share with the world my fascination of all things Anime.
Because of the website (which is now, sadly, lost in oblivion), I was lucky enough to be interviewed by a local TV producer as an “expert” on Anime. Now I know a TV producer. And I was on TV. How cool is that?
4. Get Published –- I write for a local newspaper, the Sunstar Davao. It isn’t a full-time thing, just something I do because I like to write. My email address is included at the end of my articles, and sometimes the mail I get comes from all over the world. I’ve swapped emails with readers and have even gotten invitations to meet with them if I’m ever in their area, a warm gesture, considering I have yet to meet them face-to-face.
To get published, contact newspapers or magazines or even blogs and ask if they are on the lookout for an article or two. If you don’t have the time to write a full-blown article, you could start out by writing letters to the editor of your local newspaper. When you do get published, make sure there is a way for your readers to reach you. Those readers could be future friends and/or contacts!
5. Go to parties and talk to strangers -– Sure, everyone goes to parties. But most people go to parties and only stick to people they know. They don’t even bother to talk to the quiet guy in the corner, or to the girl sitting by the buffet table. Why not? Because they don’t know them. Which is a pity.
Throw away that shyness or any semblance of cliquishness and talk to that guy/girl you don’t know at the party. Who knows, he/she may wind up being your next big contact (or even boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk about a lucky bonus).
ONE BIG WARNING — Never make it seem like you are networking just for the sake of networking. That will surely turn people off. Especially if you are trying to network in more conservative countries in Asia, like the Philippines or China.
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Leave your thoughts here. (19 responses)
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I was all set to rip into this article, because I HATE networking. Or, at least, I hate what passes for networking, which is “Make contact with people you would not normally associate with so you can use them in the future”.
But I couldn’t find anything really wrong with the article. The reason I couldn’t is because Kelvin see’s networking the way it should be: “Doing what you enjoy and making friends along the way”.
This is especially obvious in his second point, “Join a club”. Notice that he talks about joining a club to meet people with mutual interests. Not people who are important. Not people who are influential. Not people who can help your career. Just people who have the same interests as you do. Brilliant!
Great article Kelvin. Love the advice on doing some extra writing for a local paper or small magazine. Somehow I should have thought of that but you did it for me which is even better. I also like the fact that you said people should never turn down a lunch(or a drink) with someone that can potentially help them. This is often overlooked and shrugged off and I never understood why. You can learn more about a person from a 20 minute lunch than a day long conference and really create a bond.
Networking isn’t an art or Facebook spamming, it is about real connections with real people and the tips you gave prove that point. Thank you for that!
Also, don’t forget going to conferences and speaking / “networking” there (just avoid the dedicated “networking events” :-))
Great advice Kelvin. These are all things that I, and many others I’m sure, take for granted. I’ve always found that my motivation to network comes in waves. The more often I have lunch with a stranger, go to a conference, or meet new people, the more comfortable I become with the whole idea of ‘networking.’ If I have been out of practice, it always feels a little bit awkward. It’s like breaking up with a long time girlfriend and starting to date again.
Like you say, it’s almost as if it’s not what you know, but who you know. It’s refreshing to read good advice about something as tangible to our everyday lives as networking. Nonetheless, I truly think that this is a skill, that when developed, becomes so natural that it will really seem as though you are not really trying. I see this article as a reminder to not forget about things like the 5 listed items, and to not take the people around you for granted. Stay hungry, stay foolish, and things begin to come naturally.
A great networking tool for numbers 2 and 5 is MeetUp.com. I have had alot of success at Meetup events improving the way I interact with a room full of people I don’t know and finding people who share my passion business, technology and many other areas. I posted on it recently (newlycorporate.com/2007/09/20/networking-tools-meetupcom/) and have had a number of readers respond favorably as well.
Hi everyone and thanks for the very kind comments.
Scot M — I’m really glad you saw the basic theme of my “tips.” I hate networking for the sak of networking myself and would rather have fun and meet new people along the way. Its a bonus that it counts as networking, so to speak.
Greg- the hvaing lunch thing was advice that came from Sam Davison of coolpeoplecare. I like his philosophy in life. ^_^
Anton — I hadnt thought about the conferences. I went to the HPAIR conference of harvard once and had a ton of fun but I never looked at that as networking. Although now that I do think about it, it sort of was… If ever i do a follow up to this i will be sure to include your tip!
David - Networking is a skill, in a way. But most of it i think is just about making friends… the most well-networked people i know are the naturally friendly and vivacious ones. And they dont even look at themselves as networkers, just friendly to a fault.
Here’s a question: Do you network with people who don’t really interest you? I only ask this because
What happens when you meet someone who would be a good addition to your netowrk. But this person is, quite frankly, uninteresting to you. Do you fake a personal interest in order to milk them as a contact? Or do you decline a lunch meeting in order to keep from seeming fake?
Oops, I submitted my post in the middle of editing.
My second sentence meant to say “I only ask this beacuase so many articles about netowrking stalk about creating a ‘relationship’. But how can you create a relationship when you don’t really like the person you are networking with?
Do not network with someone you don’t like.
There’s probably a good reason why you don’t
like that person, so why waste precious hours
of your life trying to please them?
Could they be helpful? Well, if you don’t like
the person, others may not either. So any potential
referral could be useless or even harmful.
Build relationships with those you like and respect.
Life is too short to cozy up with folks you neither like
nor respect.
You want good people on your side, not buttheads.
Scott M– I’ve had to deal with difficult people a lot as well. To be honest, my reaction would depend. If he is a customer/client, then I would have to be nice anyway. No choice. But if its a networking issue, more often than not, i smile, nod, and then walk away the first chance I get, as politely as I can.
Like Tim says, life is too short. We shouldn’t have to network and spend time with people you don’t like or respect. However, if the person just doesn’;t interest you, well I would invoke tip # 5. Just talk and see where it goes. Some of my best (and now surprisingly rising stars in their industries) friends started out as uninteresting people. I hadn’t meant to “network” with them, they just became my friend after I talked to them a few times, and they treated me as a friend too. Now one of them is a big shot lawyer in the biggest law firm here in the Philippines. The other is a staff officer in the Supreme Court.
Anyway, just my experiences. ^_^ Take care all!
Good points.
I think they key is to realize that your network will differ from that of other people, depending on your personality. Some outgoing people will have lots of contacts. Others (like myself) may only have a few.
But if you try to force yourself to ‘network’ beyond what your personality dictates, you may come off as fake.
Scott M. — I like that last part of your comment on how “if you try to force yourself to network beyond what your personality dictates, you may come off as fake.”
That is very true and it is even more applicable when you come from some of the more conservative asian countries. I guess that’s why I don’t “network” in the real sense of the word. I go out a lot, I meet new people sure, but i don’t purposely network (hence the article title and tips).
Brandon– i checkd out the site (www.meetup.com) and it looks great! Its such a good idea as a website that I’m wondering why no one has thought of applying it in Asia. That’s a large untapped market right there…
Some people could argue there is a difference between a person who networks and a person who builds valuable relationships.
Genuinely being interested in other people is a good place to start…
Hi Devin!
Yep your statement with regard to being interested in people rings quite true! If only everyone in the workplace was really interested in each other, so to speak, instead of looking at each other as a simple connection or a cog in the machine, I am sure the workplace would be a much better place to be in.