Maybe I Just Need a Girlfriend…

Published by Ryan Paugh on September 14th, 2007 in Work/Life | 20 Comments

This post is a follow-up to "You Can't Save the World with a Ball and Chain," a post where I boldly declared my opinion on twentysomething relationships.

To say the least, putting the other side of the argument into words was no walk in the park. But a few Death Cab for Cutie albums later I got inspired. Special thanks to the passionate commenters who helped me write this post. Enjoy…

Samantha Michele, 23, has got it made. A solid teaching career, a new home, that four-legged friend she always wanted and of course, her loving husband Matt to share her success with.

"Matt is my foundation," says Michele. "When I have a horrible day at work, he is there for me. It may not ALWAYS be magical, but I just love having him by my side."

For Samantha, and countless other Gen-Ys, having that someone special is key to success.

And why not? When the day serves you lemons, no worries – you've got someone who knows how to make lemonade.

Career development specialist J.T. O'Donnell agrees:

"The greatest professional and personal successes in my life have all occurred since getting married," says O'Donnell. "My husband and kids bring out the best in me."

But J.T. wasn't always as accomplished as she is today. She was her very first client. Being a wife and a mother gave her the inspiration she needed to commit to an "extreme career makeover."

Motivation through Commitment

J.T.'s dedication is a perfect example of how loved ones can trigger what you need to excel – commitment is a powerful thing.

I once knew woman in accounting who worked her ass off so her kids could go to college. She absolutely despised accounting, but she her dedication made her the best in her field. Even she admits that without her family she'd give into mediocrity.

"Without them, I could care less about how great I am."

Commitment isn't "the Glass Ceiling"

Rebecca Thorman, Modite, cited a lunch she had with a happily married, successful twenysomething. She asked if he'd ever leave the city to advance his career in marketing.

"I'd like to leave," he replied, "but my wife wants to stay here, and her family lives here as well, so I think we will stay." He didn't view his travel limitations as a boundary.

Some would argue that constraint offers the opportunity to expand your boundaries. The epic battle with one's limitations can ignite the creative spark that propels you to be great.

Insert Famous Beatles Quote Here

It's true – in the end the only meaningful marks we make are the ones we leave on our family and friends. Work, money, accumulated "stuff" – they're nothing compared to the value of love.

All sappiness aside, "all you need is love." Reaching the top is sweet, but not if you're making the journey alone.

The feeling can't be put into words, but as numerous couples have pointed out to me in the past, "when you have it, you know."