Suits all week for a day in my boxers

As I stood, squished like a pig in a pen, on the train to work this morning, beads of sweat dripping off of my 6 foot 4 inch frame onto the poor tiny woman standing below me, I thought to myself, "What's up with sacrificing comfort, and more than likely, body odor, for a nice suit?"

Yes, I'm aware that I am something of an anomaly; most people these days are not required to wear full suits, especially in the summer. But specifics of my job require playing dress up. If it wasn't next to impossible to find a nice, decent priced suit for someone my size, I really wouldn't mind.

I have four suits, and there are four suit days a week. Friday is work in my boxers day. You would think that four suits and four days make a pretty good match. What you don't know, is that suit number four is quite possibly the ugliest piece of clothing you have ever seen. It's an ugly tan color and made of a heavy twill type material. The pants are a little too short, and my oversized brown shoes stick out like a clown's. Suit number four stays in the closet.

At first glance, suit number three appears to be perfectly fine. It's a plain black suit with a three button jacket. According to fashion experts, like my mother, tall people are supposed to wear three button jackets. I used to think this was a way for sales people to sell me the first suit I tried on, but if you ever check out a NBA basketball player's suit, they always have a minimum of three buttons. For future reference, this is the first, and hopefully last, fashion tip I will ever give on this blog. Trust me, you don't want any more.

Anyway, back to suit number three. For some reason it just doesn't fit right. The folks over at The Men's Warehouse think that because I am tall, I need an extra huge jacket. Despite what the Big & Tall stores lead you to believe; tall does not equal fat. The jacket hangs down well below the standard, well fitting length and the pants were hemmed for someone thee inches shorter than me. Suit number three comes out once a week, but I'm never happy about it.

Sophomore year of college I purchased a suit for my grandfather's funeral. Today, I call it suit number two. And it actually fits quite well. The jacket is normal length and the pants rest nicely on top of my shoes. Here is the problem; it's green! I don't know what could have possibly been going through my head when buying it, but I'm pretty sure all of those frat parties were affecting my better judgment. My green suit, aka suit number two comes out once a week barring any unforeseen circumstances.

Last summer I finally took my credit card somewhere other than Men's Warehouse. I figured it was time to buy a real professional suit. What do you know; I found a great blue pinstriped Italian suit, on sale. Today, I call it suit number one, my go-to suit. The jacket fits great, the pants are perfectly tailored, and I feel like a stud in this thing. If it was socially acceptable I would wear my go-to four days a week, I swear! But, as we all know, it's not. Regardless, I do whatever I must to wear the blue pinstripes twice a week. And it might be my imagination, but I swear people treat me with a little more respect when I wear it.