Why Don't You Cry About It? Seriously.

Published by Ryan Paugh on May 30th, 2007 in Career Development | 7 Comments

Crying at work has long been seen as verboten. But there's evidence that a growing number of workers, especially those in their 20s and 30s, see it differently. Some think it's old-fashioned to hide your emotions. Others are quick to cry over negative feedback. And many find themselves at odds with managers who grew up with a more repressive definition of professional conduct.

Sue Shellenbarger – The Wall Street Journal

All girls cry during their first real job. At least that's what my female friends tell me. Whether true or simply a stereotype, who doesn't get a little emotional over something they've invested so much time in?

Sue Shellenbarger's article, Read This and Weep: Crying at Work Gains Acceptance, explains the perks of showing emotion at work. "Some say crying gets issues out in the open…this sparks healthy dialogue…it's old-fashioned to hide your emotions."

Personally, I've caught several employees in the act – restraining an avalanche of emotion. If these frustrations were conveyed openly, petty concerns could be resolved with ease. We just need to develop an ability to cope with what has become taboo – actually dealing with human nature.

Professor Jean Twenge suggests that the millennial generation is too damn fragile. Give us a little criticism and we "burst into tears." First and foremost, I say screw her! Secondly, learning to cope with our emotions and the emotions of others is way overdue.

Think of all the time you spend pissed off at a colleague, silently cursing their very name because you didn't see eye-to-eye on a proposal. Now imagine not suppressing how you really felt…I smell progress.

Managers! When an employee cries, don't make assumptions. Take some advice from Shellenbarger's article. Confront issues the right way:

DON'T

1 Jump to conclusions about the reason

2 Assume they want a hug

3 Write them off as weak

DO

1 Ask if they'd like to postpone the conversation

2 Allow time for emotions to cool

3 Try a different approach to the topic

At the risk of sounding sexist, I've never seen a guy cry at work. Maybe slamming our fists on the desk is just an equivalent. Then again, I'm sure it happens, but nobody will admit it. Of course there's a difference between a few shed tears or fist pounds and the landslide of emotion that plagues some individuals. Draw the line where emotions impede productivity. Just don't bottle it all up. Emotion is bound to ensue when you put your soul into your career. Why hide it?