Millennial Praise: Less Confetti, More Counseling

Published by Ryan Paugh on May 3rd, 2007 in Noteworthy, Recruiting | 8 Comments

You, You, You — you really are special, you are! You've got everything going for you. You're attractive, witty, brilliant. "Gifted" is the word that comes to mind.

Childhood in recent decades has been defined by such stroking — by parents who see their job as building self-esteem, by soccer coaches who give every player a trophy, by schools that used to name one "student of the month" and these days name 40.

Now, as this greatest generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world. Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly twentysomethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit.

-Jeffrey Zaslow, The Wall Street Journal

Since establishing Employee Evolution back in March, we've observed a segment of the adult population that looks at millennials and sees little more than self-absorption. We want it all! And you better bring it on a silver platter…the narcissists are here, and they brought their iPods.

"Praise loudly and blame softly" – it's the only way to get through to us. And why not? As a member of the millennial generation, I can attest to an urge to be commended on a job well done. When I screw up, I don't want to be yelled at. I want constructive criticism. Train me to not make the same mistakes twice. I'll put it simply, I need a mentor.

What I see in companies such as Lands' End and the Bank of America (who hire out side contractors to teach managers to give kudos) is a failure to commit to what a millennial really needs. Cash and prizes, or even tossing 25 pounds of confetti a week, is no substitute for good, old-fashioned facilitation. Is it possible that the need for praise is just misinterpreted? My answer is yes.

We want attention, but not the touchy-feely, coddling kind. Give guidance, advice and THEN throw in a little ego boost – dishing out praise without merit is a gift wrapped, empty box.

In today's environment of immediate gratification it's possible that some of us are asking for more that we're worth. However, brats are not a generational thing. Either is insecurity. If a twentysomething is constantly seeking a manager's attention, don't imply it as "a millennial thing." It's simply a lack of confidence and hence, a need for a little more guidance.

I had the pleasure of talking to Jeff Zaslow this past Monday. His article is based on studies, statistics and facts about the way many others in the corporate world feel about my generation. To me, it's all about misunderstanding. It's time for millennials to speak up. Not simply about what we want, but what we DON'T want. Speaking for myself, I don't want fake praise. I don't want my manager to have to hire an outside consultant to boost my self-esteem. Providing me with a sense of worth shouldn't cost you a dime.

When I was a kid, I played a lot of community soccer. At the end of the season, EVERYBODY got a trophy, but it never blurred the line between the winners and the losers. We were smart enough to figure this out then, we're certainly smart enough now.

Leave your thoughts here. (8 responses)

This article´s comments All Employee Evolution comments

Jacqui

May 3rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm

I agree 100%. I'm an adult now (ha!). I don't need my boss to "protect me" from office politics as she so often likes to tell me, and I don't need my co-workers to apologize to me for returning an article I've writen, bleeding with red ink after their edits. We do our jobs, and sometimes things aren't perfect. We get it, and we expect it. Let's fix it and move on.

Jacqui
I find myself laughing whenever someone refers to me as an adult too. But you're right, we are, and should be treated that way. And even adults need a little guidance. I just hope managers don't misread it as a need for praise.

-Ryan

Laughing at you "millenials"

May 3rd, 2007 at 4:16 pm

Mr. Paugh, I am confident that, given your age (23) and lack of experience, in about 15 years you will read what you wrote (above) and absolutely cringe. That is, if you don't receive a well-deserved attitude adjustment first by your baby boomer bosses, and a heavy dose of what you "DON'T WANT" like the rest of us who work our tails off while you think about how we need to "adapt" to you. Please.

Thanks for sharing your opinion, but I genuinely hope that in 15 years I'm proud of what I have tried to do and I hope that my employers feel the same way. Try not to read so deeply into the fact that society is destined to adapt itself as generations come and go. It's more about how you react to the change. Will you fight it? Or will you embrace it and try to find a way to coexist?

-Mr. Paugh

KV

May 3rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm

Once again, right on the money! It's very easy to observe the generational difference.

Three months ago, my department decided to start an employee recognition plan. All managers would put in names of the best employees in the hat, and the winner's name would be announced in a big meeting. The person would also get a $10 gift certificate.

Now, to me, the praise was a good idea, the monetary addition a really bad one. I work in IT, so $10 does not resonate the same degree of value as the overall best employee in a department does. So, it almost seemed like an insult. The part that made it all seem empty was that all of the management team could only come up with $10 to give out. I think the recognition without the money would have been great, but the money put a hole in it. I'd hate to get that award just because I don't know how I'd react if I got 10 bucks.

I would be much happier if someone above my boss came up to me, told me he appreciates my work, told me what's important to him, and gave me some advice on how I could do things better.

Ryan, like you said, it is very important for us to let our bosses know what we need, and more importantly help them to understand that different people like to be recognized differently.

KV:

You're right, ten bucks is an insult and it certainly downplays the positive recognition that's of greater value in the end. I'm not sure if you work for a smaller or larger company, but coming from a larger company I can share another story.

A manufacturing team was recognized with the greatest achievement of the year, they were given a trophy, photographed with the leaders of the division and given a large sum of money to donate to a charity of their choice. They even got a story in our company newsletter which I actually wrote.

To me, this was an astounding way to be recognized without any monetary gain involved. Again, it's difficult for this to work in smaller companies, but I'm sure our corporate leader could find a way. All it requires is a little bit of thinking outside the box.

As usual, great comments. Thanks!

-Ryan Paugh

Mr Opinion

May 3rd, 2007 at 4:27 pm

Ryan, I read the WSJ article this morning, and followed it here.
Disagreeing a little with you on http://mropinion.youopine.com/2007/05/03/raining-on-someones-parade/

As the previous commenter, I think reality might catch up with you later, unless you manage to stay self-employeed (and self-controlling) forever.

tomob

May 3rd, 2007 at 4:39 pm

Ryan:

I have to agree with you. People (all people) want challenge, leadership, fulfillment and recognition. If anyone started to throw confetti at me I would run screaming from the room!

(I'll admit I am a boomer – but we did choose the same wordpress template for our blogs!)

There are differences in values and communication styles – see Justen Deal's Email -

http://tomob.wordpress.com/2007/04/25/justen-deals-email/

but this empty praise as a corporate strategy is BANKRUPT. Think they do this at GE? Goldman Sachs? Google? I don't think so.

Tom O'B
http://www.tomob.wordpress.com

Tom:

Thanks for your comments. It's always refreshing to meet an older peer that's still in touch with the basic desire to challenge and reinvent things. There's a lot of you out there, but still not enough dialogue making its way across the generation gap.

Thanks for adding us to your blogroll! We gladly reciprocate.

-Ryan Paugh

Daniel W Rasmus

May 3rd, 2007 at 8:54 pm

Thank you for the interest in my commentary. I think we are watching that start of a negotiation toward a new workplace. Every generation has different attitudes and vastly different experiences in the context of both history and technology. Today's workplace, and more so tomorrows as the Boomers retire, will be a different place to work, I hope a more dynamic one, a more humane one and a more interesting one. I look forward to working in that future.

We can't use the managerial styles taught in the 50s, 60s or 70s as benchmarks any longer. GE or Goldman Sachs may well fail to recognize how we integrate to create a community of success within organizations, but as worker shortages increase, and the negotiation power of the next generation gains leverage, they will adapt and evolve.

I hope as you have time, you will all feel free to stop by my blog, leave a comment in order to keep the dialog open and the negotiations transparent.

Daniel W. Rasmus
http://future-of-work.spaces.live.com

Daniel:

I really enjoy reading your site and I certainly will continue to in the future. Keeping the dialogue open is what will hopefully make the negotiation towards this new workforce a less bumpy ride.

Ryan Paugh

PS: I actually tried to comment on your new post today, but I guess I need to register first. You're thoughts are intriguing, I look forward to being able to respond. I'll have to wait for the weekend though.

Recruiting Bloggers.com

May 4th, 2007 at 7:39 am

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