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jar·gon
-noun
- the language, esp. the vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade, profession, or group: medical jargon
- unintelligible or meaningless talk or writing; gibberish.
- any talk or writing that one does not understand.
It’s a rough gig playing the corporate role. Or so it seems to a newbie. So many big meaningless words to throw around – like leverage, methodology, or the one that always “grinds my gears,” execute. Are we implementing something new? Or giving it a lethal injection?
I know it sounds stupid, but what’s even worse is the fact that we only talk like this in the office. You wouldn’t talk to your friends, family or a complete stranger for that matter in the way you verbalize in the corporate world. So what’s the deal? How did this happen? And why don’t we realize how absolutely stupid we sound?
I confronted my dad about this the other night over dinner. I knew he’d be a good candidate for discussion because his at-home teleconferences may be my earliest introduction to the corporate tongue. “Everybody does it,” was his response. So unsatisfying, yet I knew for some reason that was going to be the response no matter who I asked.
I often see it as a Cro-Magnon game of charades, like we’re incapable of articulating ourselves in a straightforward manner. The worst part is, I think some people enjoy it.
As writer, I don’t just notice this “other language” in meetings and presentations by my superiors, but in the feedback I get when I write up a draft. My boss always taught me to be as straightforward as possible; employees don’t have time to decipher. And still, when I get back my work, it’s completely morphed into some kind of style they didn’t cover in English 101.
I guess the gist of what I want to accomplish in this short, but vital rant is that we need to stop talking to each other like this. I for one will fight my hardest to keep myself from falling into that trench and I suggest all Millennials strive to do the same. You wouldn’t want anyone to talk to you that way outside of the office. So why would you want it in the office?
It’s not going to kill us if it doesn’t change, but wouldn’t it be nice to NOT sound like a bunch of tools? My job hasn’t stolen all my dignity. Not yet at least…
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My personal favorite is “synergy” which is usually accompanied by an interlocking of the fingers by the person saying it. It also can be morphed into “synergize”. I actually get shivers down my back when I hear that one because to me it’s like someone running their fingernails down a chalkboard. It has got to be one of the most contrived and meaningless words I have ever heard.
Haha! Jaerid I wish I had talked to you yesterday because that word was on the tip of my tongue! You have to love to hate the body language associated with these meaningless words.
You’re recent post was so straight forward and understandable, even a caveman could have written it!
You forgot the much-loved and never under-used “speak to it” or “talk to it”
We like to “socialise” documents and “crystalise” ideas.
Not that I am defending corporate jargon, but apparently corporations have their own corporate language - phrases that come up again and again. This use of language is actually a part of corporate culture and mindset - the stuff that makes people think they are working together, not trying to kill each other. I can’t defend it, but I do think its interesting.